Dating in English: Ghosting, Red Flags, and more | Easy English Podcast

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1. 0:01Hello and welcome back to the Easy English Podcast, the best place to practice your English listening skills.
2. 0:09I'm your host Oliver, and today we have a quite an exciting but
3. 0:15also terrifying topic, and that is dating in English in the modern age. Yes, that's right.
4. 0:25So if you think dating is difficult in your own native language, try doing it now in English.
5. 0:33We're going to be taking a look at dating apps, the slang, and some of the cultural rules around dating in English today.
6. 0:43So if you find that interesting and you want to find a little bit out about that, then keep on listening.
7. 0:51As always, we are going to learn some of the vocabulary for today's episode as well. So I'm going to go through some
8. 0:59key vocabulary that you should listen out for today.
9. 1:04I'm going to read the words and their definitions with a little example potentially as well. So let's have a look at our key
10. 1:12vocabulary for this episode. And we're going to have 5 keywords for today. The 1st is, well, there are
11. 1:22actually rather key phrases in in this case.
12. 1:26The first is the talking stage, and this is annoying, the talking stage and this is that period when you're texting and
13. 1:36getting to know someone yet, but you're not formally dating.
14. 1:41The next is bio bio. A bio is a biography, essentially the little bit of text on people's profiles that
15. 1:51explains a bit about themselves, a summary about who they are and maybe where they're from and some of their interests.
16. 2:02Our next is a phrase which is a verb, and that is to ghost.
17. 2:07To ghost and to ghost means to suddenly drop all communication with someone without any explanation.
18. 2:18And the 9 version of this, by the way, is called ghosting.
19. 2:22Ghosting and our next phrase, our 4th 1 today is situation ship, situation ship. And this is annoying and people
20. 2:33use it in slang to be more than a friendship, but not quite a committed relationship. So more of a it's complicated
21. 2:42kind of stage. And our final phrase today is red flag, red flag. A red flag is a warning sign
22. 2:53that someone is probably not going to be a good relationship partner. And a green flag on the opposite
23. 3:02is a good sign. OK, so those are today's key phrases that I want you to listen for.
24. 3:08We will explain them a little bit more as we go.
25. 3:12And as always, if you ever are listening or you have been for a while and you're not following or subscribed, make sure that you do. It's the number one way to
26. 3:22support and make sure that you don't miss out on new episodes every Monday. As always, we have a new episode
27. 3:30of the podcast every Monday, but also a bonus episode of the Patreon podcast every week too, as well as full transcripts,
28. 3:41PDFs, and vocabulary flip cards with each episode.
29. 3:47And that's available if you support and become a Patreon member. And you can do that by following the link in the description below.
30. 3:56Let's get back to our main episode today.
31. 4:00And this is our topic of dating in English.
32. 4:05Now, it's been a long time since I have been doing this because I am married. I'm not dating in the modern day
33. 4:14in 2026, but I know that a lot of you are.
34. 4:18So that's why we're going to learn some of these strange vocabulary words. And it's also useful vocabulary simply if you're watching TV shows and movies, maybe American
35. 4:30ones, British ones, anything modern, some of the slang will even be used in your own language as well.
36. 4:38In 2026, a lot of young people their starting their dating journey on an app of some kind, whether that's Tinder, Bumble or
37. 4:48some kind of new app service. The language is pretty much the same on all of these and the slang is pretty common across
38. 4:57any type of these platforms. It is.
39. 5:01It does seem to be very popular nowadays for people to meet online on apps and in fact, for a lot of people, it seems to be
40. 5:11the only way that they meet potential partners nowadays.
41. 5:16In the past, I do remember when you talk to grandparents or parents, you know they usually met through a friend or randomly
42. 5:25at a cafe, a library, at a club or a bar.
43. 5:31But now it does seem like people actively look for maybe a partner or a relationship online.
44. 5:39So that's why a lot of this vocabulary because of course, online we communicate a lot with text.
45. 5:46So a lot of these slang words and phrases have become very popular. So first you have on these apps
46. 5:55what people call the swipe. So there may be swiping on their screen to find people. And when someone else sees them that they like, they call it a match.
47. 6:07You can also say that if you meet someone that is good for you, that you might be a good match.
48. 6:14You could be a very good match, the two of you.
49. 6:17And once you match, you will enter that sort of talking phase when you meet someone. And this is that most dangerous
50. 6:27part because especially when texting, people don't want to seem too intense, but they do want to seem interesting or like
51. 6:36they're interested. And many people struggle here because they use very formal English.
52. 6:44So for example, you want to be still fairly casual, but not too casual, maybe some complimentary or some compliments and really
53. 6:54just keeping it light. But of course, when I think about this, I don't think I'd be very good at doing a lot of
54. 7:02online dating if I was back into that phase.
55. 7:07Because to be honest, not everyone is good at communicating online, at communicating by text.
56. 7:15And some people hate text messaging.
57. 7:18Some people love it. I'm definitely one in the camp of people that prefer to talk in person or even by voice over the
58. 7:27phone. I really don't like texting, I don't like emails. I don't like written communication so much back and forth.
59. 7:36I do prefer by voice, having that real contacts.
60. 7:41I know some people do prefer that, but I think it's very hard to actually show people who you are and to really come across
61. 7:49the correct way with your full real personality.
62. 7:54It can be very hard to do that online.
63. 7:57And of course when people are dating using technology and online, it isn't always easy. And in fact, technology has
64. 8:06created some bad behaviours. And we're going to look at what they are in English and, and learn what these names which
65. 8:15have become almost like a slang, I guess, very common slang and what they mean. The first I mentioned already is ghosting. Ghosting, and this is the most
66. 8:26common and it's actually common even outside of dating or people trying to talk to people online. Essentially one day you're, you
67. 8:36know, you're texting back and forth or messaging and the next day silence. This can happen with friends, with potential partners, or even just with people that you know
68. 8:48online. They disappear like a ghost.
69. 8:52It's rude, but it does happen in general to everyone at some stage. And I think it's because it's so
70. 8:59easy to do this online. All you have to do is close the chat, maybe block the person and never see them again.
71. 9:09And because people see, don't see a lot of these people in person, most of their communication and their contact
72. 9:17is happening online, which I think can create this behaviour, especially if you are dating, for example, or not dating but
73. 9:26talking and it's before you've even met the person, they can just stop talking to you. And that's what they call ghosting. Then there's something else
74. 9:38which I only heard about for the first time when I was doing a bit of research for this topic for phrases and that is called bread crumbing. Bread crumbing and this when
75. 9:50someone sends you a small crumb of attention.
76. 9:54So a little piece like for example a compliment or a light or a short text once every week or every so often just to keep
77. 10:03you interested. But they have no intention of getting to know you much further or meeting you in person.
78. 10:11So apparently that is a big problem nowadays with people dating online and a lot of people that use these online
79. 10:19apps, they consider this to be a major red flag.
80. 10:24So a very bad sign if someone does that and engages in that behaviour. In fact, any of those phrases or
81. 10:32features like ghosting would be considered red flags.
82. 10:39And in English we have a phrase and it is.
83. 10:42Don't settle for crumbs when you deserve the whole loaf.
84. 10:49OK, let's go for a little bit to our listener spotlight.
85. 10:52And today's question, of course, is going to be have you ever used online dating? Have you used, you know, dating apps? Tell me your experience and if
86. 11:04not, how did you meet your significant other?
87. 11:08Was it a traditional way? Did you meet in a party?
88. 11:12At a library? In a cafe?
89. 11:15For a friend? Let me know.
90. 11:18So one or the other. If you've used, you know, dating apps before, tell me your experience.
91. 11:24If not, you can tell me how you've met a significant other or a partner before. OK, so last week I asked some
92. 11:33questions about what you do for your English learning routine and I had some great answers and I'm going to share a few of
93. 11:42those with you today. So the first one that I'm going to share was from Lou. And she said I think it's very
94. 11:51important to always keep the pleasure of learning.
95. 11:54And I think for me, the best way to learn English is to learn as a melody, as music. The shadowing method is suitable
96. 12:03for me and podcasts like yours because the music of words is very clear. I think that's a very beautiful
97. 12:11way to think about learning English like a melody.
98. 12:15And I'm very glad that my podcast is also helping with that, Lou. So thank you for your lovely comment. OK, the next comment that I want
99. 12:24to read today is 1 from Summer. So Summer said hello Oliver, and so her routines are listening to English podcasts on a daily
100. 12:36basis while shadowing those and listening to songs by English singers and singing along with them once more.
101. 12:44I try to write, read and talk as much as possible.
102. 12:49I'm also into watching films constantly, without subtitles, of course. Excellent, Summer.
103. 12:56So it seems that shadowing is quite popular.
104. 12:59That's interesting. I love the fact that you sing along with those English songs. That's a great way to practice your English. Excellent.
105. 13:08I had a lovely comment from Anna and she said hi Oliver, I'm 50 years old and I wonder if I can still master English or is it
106. 13:18already too late? But as Confucius said, the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
107. 13:25The second best time is now, so I'm going to try.
108. 13:30I use an app for learning English, listen to podcasts and watch music, watch movies to practice.
109. 13:37Excellent. Anna, I think it's never too late. I think that you're right, the best time is now and that the work that you put in now and the
110. 13:45focus is what is important. All the time in the past doesn't matter anymore. It's the time that you have currently and into the future which does.
111. 13:56So keep it up and I'm sure that you will do great.
112. 14:00So thank you all for your wonderful comments.
113. 14:02There was really great comments today.
114. 14:04I can't read them all out every episode, but I do read personally each and everyone. So make sure to try and answer
115. 14:12as it helps for your English language practice as well as I get to read them and they're absolutely lovely comments and I
116. 14:21really, really enjoy seeing what each of you write each episode.
117. 14:27So just a reminder, today's question is about if you use dating apps or have used in the past, tell me your experience.
118. 14:35If not, tell me how you have met people you know.
119. 14:38Maybe you're your husband or wife or long term partner in the past. And I will, as always, choose a few of these and read them out on next week's episode.
120. 14:51OK, let's go back to our main topic today and we're going to look at a cultural nuance and that is let's grab a coffee.
121. 15:02In the English speaking world, we love to be indirect.
122. 15:07You might remember our episode about indirectness and directness. I had a, an episode I think 2 weeks ago on Patreon for Patreon subscribers about politeness in
123. 15:19the UK. But when someone says we should grab a coffee sometime, what do they mean?
124. 15:27Usually they're testing the water.
125. 15:30So a coffee date is very low stakes.
126. 15:34So it's something which is, you know, short, it's cheap and it's easy to leave if you don't like the other person.
127. 15:41And if they suggest dinner or drinks, for example, it's more serious. It's much more serious because they're going to be spending a lot more time and frankly a lot
128. 15:52more money with you as well. So a lot of people like to invite people for coffee. It's a subtle way of saying I
129. 16:01want to try and get to know you a bit more, but it's not so serious. So if you want to ask someone out, but you're you're maybe a bit nervous in English, you can
130. 16:12use a soft question. So instead of saying, will you go on a date with me, you could try, I'm going to to that new exhibit on Friday. Would you like to join me?
131. 16:23Or I'm going to grab a cup of coffee.
132. 16:27Do you want to come? So it feels more natural and it feels less like a formal invitation.
133. 16:33So that's just a tip I guess with with language, because I know sometimes people can come across as a bit more formal than
134. 16:42they want to and make it seem more like an intense invitation.
135. 16:48But I think sometimes it's a lot better if people, particularly with these things are a bit more direct so that you can know, you know, does someone want to go on a date?
136. 16:59Does someone want to see you more?
137. 17:02Does Someone Like You? And I think sometimes these things, despite cultural or language differences, you can
138. 17:10always be a little bit more direct about maybe it's A next generation thing where people are a little bit more unclear or
139. 17:20ambiguous about things. But certainly if we were to look at even in the UK, like previous generations, they were much more
140. 17:30clear, much more direct and more maybe specific about what they were looking for. Whereas today it seems maybe
141. 17:39with the world of online dating, how things are different, that it's a bit more ambiguous, a bit more unclear.
142. 17:47What do you think? Do you like those phrases or those kind of soft questions and meetings?
143. 17:53Or do you prefer people being more direct?
144. 17:59But really, when using English for dating, just be yourself this episode. That's why I haven't focused so much on things that you should say, really, because it doesn't
145. 18:10matter. You should really be yourself.
146. 18:12It is always about connection rather than grammar.
147. 18:16Don't worry if your grammar or your vocabulary or your English is not perfect. The right person will care a lot
148. 18:24more about your personality than your prepositions and your use of grammar. So use that talking stage to practice your English. And of course, like any
149. 18:36situation in life, if you're using English, you're practicing it. It's a great a great way to do so. And remember to watch out for
150. 18:46those red flags, particularly when you're on the on those apps and you're getting ghosted or someone is breadcrumbing you.
151. 18:56So you see, I managed to use almost all of our key vocabulary in this one paragraph today. So thank you very much for listening. This was a slightly different
152. 19:06episode today. I just thought I would change up the theme with a slightly different topic.
153. 19:13I'm aware it's very hard to actually get a new topic every week, so do leave me a comment below as well if you have any
154. 19:23specific requests, maybe some themes or topics that you would like. It can be anything, you know, it could be something about transport, about about, I don't
155. 19:34know, wildlife, about any specific area of life or theme that you would like me to speak about in English.
156. 19:43It helps me to come up with ideas because sometimes I'm usually pretty good, but sometimes at certain points of the year I can get a little bit stuck with what to make a an
157. 19:54episode about. So it does help to know what you guys want and I'm always eager to hear and to see what you're looking for. Thank you very much for
158. 20:04listening and for supporting the show, and I will see you in next week's episode or on the Patreon for this week's bonus episode very soon. Goodbye.