The Mindset & Habits of Confident English Speakers

معنی واژه با لمس

1. 0:00You wanna speak English with more confidence.
2. 0:03You know you need to practise.
3. 0:06You know the only way through it is to actually open your mouth and speak.
4. 0:12But then you picture it, the call, the conversation, the group of people that you're supposed to be talking to, and in that moment, one thought slips into your head and stops you before you even begin.
5. 0:29Ugh, I'm not good enough for this." Everyone else will be so much better than me.
6. 0:34How will I keep up?
7. 0:36Will I embarrass myself?
8. 0:49Hey, ladies.
9. 0:49Welcome back, and a big welcome to anyone who is joining us for the very first time.
10. 0:56This is the Confident English Podcast.
11. 1:01My name is Emma.
12. 1:02I'm the founder of Hey Lady! Which is an online community that brings women together from all around the world to practise speaking English.
13. 1:13Every week, we break down the barriers that keep you from speaking English with confidence, whether you're at work, while you're traveling, or in everyday life.
14. 1:25If you've been learning English for a long time and you're still struggling to speak up, then you are in exactly the right place, and I'm really glad that you're here.
15. 1:36All right, Let's get into today's episode.
16. 1:47So this episode was inspired by Monica from Slovakia, and Monica writes, Hey, Emma.
17. 1:57I know I must practise my speaking, but when I imagine speaking in front of other people, I think"My God, I can't do that! My English is so bad compared to them." I'm not a shy person in my language, so how can I be more confident?
18. 2:18How can I speak more naturally in English?
19. 2:22Monica, thank you so much for asking this so honestly, because I know that you're not the only one who is sitting with this fear and wondering why your natural confidence isn't coming through in your English.
20. 2:39And I wanna answer it, but I wanna answer it a little differently to how you might expect.
21. 2:52So Monica is asking how to become more confident as an English speaker, and this is a really great question, one that I love to talk about.
22. 3:03If you're a member of the Hey Lady! community, or you've been listening to any of these episodes, you'll already know that confidence isn't something that you can study.
23. 3:16Like any skill, confidence is something that grows along with experience.
24. 3:25But today I wanna go a little deeper with you because I think that there's a more powerful question underneath this.
25. 3:33Not just how do I become more confident, but who do I need to become to have the life that I want in English?
26. 3:45Because the women that I've seen build real confidence in English, the ones who go from staying quiet to leading conversations, from avoiding English to seeking it out, they didn't just find the right technique.
27. 4:07They made a decision about who they were going to be, and then they started living like that person.
28. 4:17So that is what I wanna talk about today.
29. 4:26Think about the woman that you want to be in English, the one who speaks with ease, the one who doesn't freeze when someone asks her a question, the one who travels and presents, connects and laughs in English without that knot in her stomach all the time.
30. 4:49Who is she?
31. 4:51She's not the woman who found some magic method.
32. 4:55She's not the woman who waited until she felt ready.
33. 5:00She's the woman who decided that becoming a confident English speaker was worth the discomfort of getting there.
34. 5:10She speaks before she feels ready.
35. 5:14She makes mistakes, and she keeps going.
36. 5:19She has a routine, not because she always feels motivated, but because she decided, probably a long time ago, that practice matters more than comfort, so she seeks out conversations instead of avoiding them.
37. 5:38She sits with that nervous feeling instead of letting that nervous feeling make decisions for her and leave.
38. 5:49She's not fearless, but she's just stopped letting that fear have the final say.
39. 6:01Most women at this point in their English journey are looking for an extrinsic solution.
40. 6:09Now, that might be a new word for you, extrinsic.
41. 6:14Extrinsic means coming from outside of yourself.
42. 6:20So when I say that most women at this point in their English journey are looking for an extrinsic solution, I'm talking about something beyond themselves, the right course, the right teacher, the right app, or the right moment when you finally feel ready.
43. 6:42Something that's out there that's gonna fix the problem in here.
44. 6:47The opposite is intrinsic, and that means it comes from within, from your own values, from your own decision, your own sense of who you are and who you're becoming.
45. 7:02Now, I think it's really easy to understand why all of us, we often reach for these extrinsic solutions.
46. 7:11It feels easier, and it feels safer to look outside yourself for the answer.
47. 7:17Because if the right course just hasn't come along yet, you don't have to feel responsible for that gap between where you are and where you want to be.
48. 7:28But no course, n- no teacher, no app can make the intrinsic decision for you.
49. 7:38They can give you the language, the rules, but they cannot give you the decision to use it.
50. 7:45The woman who has the life that she wants in English, she's stopped looking outside of herself for these answers.
51. 7:54She's taken that responsibility for her own practice on.
52. 7:59She's made it a priority.
53. 8:01Even when life is busy, even when she doesn't feel like it, even when she's tired and her English feels worse than yesterday.
54. 8:17So what does it look like when you have the mindset and the habits of that confident English speaker?
55. 8:27Well, it looks like deciding that you will speak English this week, not because you feel ready, but because you decided it matters and it's your priority.
56. 8:39It looks like finding one conversation, one group, one person, and showing up even when it's not easy or comfortable.
57. 8:52It looks like staying in the conversation even when you really just wanna go quiet.
58. 8:59Saying, " Give me a moment," instead of apologizing and making excuses, or asking," Can you say that again?" without feeling shame for that.
59. 9:11These are not signs of weakness.
60. 9:14These are the habits of someone who has decided that she belongs in a conversation even while she's imperfect.
61. 9:23And when you hear a woman in a conversation, a woman who speaks with more ease than you do, stop measuring yourself against her.
62. 9:35Look at her differently.
63. 9:38She's not proof that you don't belong in this conversation.
64. 9:43She's proof that it's possible.
65. 9:46She is who you are becoming.
66. 9:51More fluent doesn't mean more worthy.
67. 9:56Faster doesn't mean better or more intelligent.
68. 10:02You belong in the conversation right now exactly as you are.
69. 10:14Now, I am well aware that all of this is easier said than done, and that's not a weakness either.
70. 10:23It's just a fact.
71. 10:26When you're becoming a different version of yourself, it is so much easier to do it when you are surrounded by others who are also doing the same thing, where the identity that you are growing into is normal and it's celebrated, where showing up in this imperfect way is expected and respected, where the women who are around you, they are also choosing practise over comfort, routine over excuses, courage over waiting or hesitating.
72. 11:09That kind of environment doesn't just support the person that you want to become, but it helps you to become her faster.
73. 11:24So let's come back to Monica's question.
74. 11:28Monica's question was, "How do you become confident enough to try, to start?" So you start by asking yourself this bigger question," Who do I need to become?" And then you take one small step towards being that person this week.
75. 11:54It's not a perfect step, not a fearless one, just one step, one conversation, one moment where you stay in it instead of backing away.
76. 12:09One decision that says, " I'm the kind of woman who chooses to back herself." Now, if you, dearest listener, if you are looking for this environment, an environment to become that woman, Hey Lady! was built for exactly this.
77. 12:30Women from all around the world together on the same journey, all choosing to show up and to practise.
78. 12:38It's not a place to hide.
79. 12:42It's a place to become.
80. 12:45And you can try it for free for seven days if you'd like.
81. 12:49You can join a conversation or two, see how it feels, and make a decision for yourself.
82. 12:57The link to join is in the description or in the show notes.
83. 13:02And before we go, I wanna hear from you in the comments.
84. 13:07What is the fear that is stopping you from speaking English right now?
85. 13:12Tell me in the comments.
86. 13:14I read every single one, and I love hearing from you.
87. 13:18Thank you for spending some time with me today on the Confident English Podcast.
88. 13:23And remember, confidence is not something that you wait for.
89. 13:28It's someone you decide to become.
90. 13:32I'll see you next time.