I'm Not Afraid to Speak English Anymore

معنی واژه با لمس

1. 0:00Do you ever wonder what it would feel like to just have fun in English, to enjoy conversations instead of worrying about
2. 0:09mistakes, worrying about others judging your accent, or worrying about having to ask someone to repeat what they've said?
3. 0:18And do you wonder how some people make that transition?
4. 0:24How can it happen for you?
5. 0:26That is something I talk a lot about with Martha today.
6. 0:29Martha is a member of my Confident Women Community.
7. 0:31She's been with us for just over three years. And in our conversation today, we talk about her experience of moving from Mexico to the US and what it felt like at the beginning,
8. 0:41and what has helped her transition into feeling fully confident in English conversations now. And not just feeling confident,
9. 0:50but choosing to be confident. Of course, along the way, we talk about several other things, including our shared love of running.
10. 0:59I discovered that we overlapped living in the same place during the pandemic, and we talk a lot about experiencing the pandemic and what life has been like
11. 1:08after. So I hope that you enjoy this conversation.
12. 1:11I hope you discover some wonderful new vocabulary for conversations that you're having in English.
13. 1:17And I also hope that it inspires you and helps you discover a way to become more confident in your English as well.
14. 1:29So, Martha, you and I were just talking about running. We're both runners.
15. 1:35And you just said that you are, you haven't run for a while and you have to wait till October. Tell me, why haven't you been running for a while? What, what makes it difficult?
16. 1:44Yeah, uh, well, thank you for having me on, uh, Anne Marie. And, uh, that I love running. That's my passion, but I live in Arizona.
17. 1:53And the weather, yeah, everybody knows that the weather here is brutal.
18. 1:58In the summer, it's impossible to go outside. Yeah.
19. 2:01So I'm waiting, uh, the spread to, to the, the, the weather can change and until October is when it comes really beautiful
20. 2:12outside. That's my favorite month here in Arizona, and I'm, I'm, I'm waiting for that.
21. 2:17Yeah. And if I remember correctly, you have run marathons or half marathons. Yes.
22. 2:24And are you training -.
23. 2:26Yeah.
24. 2:27Will you be training.
25. 2:27In October? Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah, I did some half marathons. Yeah. And, uh, when I lived in Washington DC, I was planning to, uh, run my,
26. 2:37uh, full marathon. But when the pandemic hit, and they cancel it.
27. 2:43Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I saw those videos when the people were running all around, um, the National Mall. And, and that was my dream, you know? Yeah.
28. 2:53So I prepare really hard. And, uh, and I was planning to do it in November, which is, was my birthday. Yeah.
29. 3:00So was pretty much my celebration, my birthday celebration, but they cancel it.
30. 3:05Yeah. And, uh, and I did my marathon by myself. I said, "Well, I'm ready." Oh my God. Yes, I did that.
31. 3:12I did it in Virginia because I was living there.
32. 3:15And, uh -.
33. 3:15Wow. And, uh, it was such a great experience.
34. 3:18I'm hoping make another one maybe next year. Yeah. Okay. But, uh, you know, life st - sometime gets busy. And, uh, and I don't have the time right now,
35. 3:28but I definitely s - it is in my bucket list. Yeah. Definitely. Yeah.
36. 3:32So wait a minute.
37. 3:33You lived in Virginia or in the DC area during the pandemic?
38. 3:37Yes. So.
39. 3:39Did I.
40. 3:40Yes.
41. 3:42Yes. I didn't know, I didn't know we lived in the same place during the pandemic.
42. 3:46Yeah, yeah. I didn't.
43. 3:47Realize we overlapped.
44. 3:49I guess so. Yeah. Yeah. I guess so. I guess so. I mean, I wasn't member of the community - Yeah. In that time, but I was following you your videos. And I don't know,
45. 4:01maybe because I was living in that area, so my, my - Yeah. You know, social media, how, how, how it works. And, uh, and, uh, it's, it was the first time that I saw your videos and, and, uh, and, uh, learned a,
46. 4:13a little bit of that community. Wow. And, uh, yeah. But, uh, I was living in Virginia back then and, but my husband was, was working in, in Washington DC. Yeah.
47. 4:23Okay. Yeah. Were you, do you mind if I ask, were you living in
48. 4:28Alexandria? Where were you living in, in Virginia?
49. 4:32Manassas.
50. 4:33Okay. Okay.
51. 4:34Yeah. Manassas, beautiful area. Yeah. I love the forest. So, and that, that river, that Potomac River, it's in the, the connect or the area.
52. 4:44Yeah. So I did my first half marathon in that river.
53. 4:47Awesome. Yeah.
54. 4:48So that area is in my heart. Yeah. Virginia, Washington DC is in my heart. Yeah.
55. 4:54But we didn't have any family there.
56. 4:56So I was raising my kids without family and, uh, uh, yeah, it was hard.
57. 5:02And then I was enjoying the museums, you know, everything. I love the area.
58. 5:07But then the pandemic, I closed up everything and we were stuck in the house. Totally.
59. 5:13And I say, no, we gotta go back to our family at least to be close to them.
60. 5:18Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I spent the whole pandemic there.
61. 5:20We lived in DC in the Capitol, uh, near the Capitol. And so, yes, when the pandemic hit, I used to, my running route used to be the National Mall. Yes.
62. 5:31And then when the pandemic hit and other things happened, it just, everything got so difficult. It was, it was tough.
63. 5:38Yeah. It was a tough place to be. I, I definitely wanna go back because I missed some, uh, some museums that I really wanted to go. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, well, I don't know when, but I, yeah, I miss the opportunity for the,
64. 5:50for that pandemic. Yeah.
65. 5:51Yeah. Yeah. It's a great city.
66. 5:53Do you have a favorite museum there that you've been.
67. 5:55To? The, the Art, the Art Museum. Mm-hmm. That's my favorite.
68. 6:00Spectacular. It's.
69. 6:01Spectacular. Yeah. See those, those, uh, pictures and, uh, paintings. Yeah.
70. 6:06It was... Yeah. They really, they really spoke to me. Yeah.
71. 6:09Yeah. And I think what's so cool, what most people don't know, is that all those national museums are free. Yes. You just, you just go.
72. 6:18And it makes it such an affordable place to be for entertainment.
73. 6:23I think to be able to have all of those museums, the air and space, the natural history, the art museums, all of it is totally free to the public. It's incredible to have that. Yes.
74. 6:34Yeah. Yeah.
75. 6:35Yes, it is. Yeah.
76. 6:36So you moved to Arizona, and I know that you joined the Confident Women community in August 23.
77. 6:43So it's just now, like, your three-year anniversary, a little bitity.
78. 6:46Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. I'm celebrating it. Yeah. It's a three years a - uh, three years ago.
79. 6:52Yeah. Yeah. That's incredible.
80. 6:54I was thinking this morning before this conversation about some of the classes where you and I have had conversations or some of the speaking practices
81. 7:04I've heard. And I know there are some roadmaps that have been really meaningful to you. And when I say roadmaps for people that don't know it, those are our study guides.
82. 7:14I was thinking today about one of the roadmaps we had in how do you talk about books or podcasts?
83. 7:21And you were describing the book you had read by Maria Shriver who wrote her biography, but in poetry.
84. 7:29And I discovered that you really love poetry. Yes.
85. 7:34And I'm curious, what, what are you reading right now?
86. 7:38Well, uh, right now, um, with, because we had a book club in the CW community, in the community, I'm, I'm, I'm really busy with, with those, uh - Okay. With those books right now. Um, um,
87. 7:50our coach is wonderful. Lyn is wonderful. Yes, uh, getting really interesting, um, uh, books. Right now,
88. 7:59I'm, I'm, I'm reading, uh, Let Them. Ooh. That's a new book that is not poetry.
89. 8:05But, uh, that's, that's the, that, that one that I'm, um, reading right now.
90. 8:09But, uh, definitely something that I always have my poetry book in my, in my, in my nightstand, you know, just to see if I had time to read a little bit of that. But, uh, uh, CWC keeps us busy. .
91. 8:22That's true. That's true. It does. It does. Yeah. So are you, are you going to read... I don't think I have my copy on my desk. Oh, I do.
92. 8:29Nevermind. I lied. I have it. Are you going to read... Because we're, we're rereading Happy Mind, Happy Life. Are you - Yes. Doing that?
93. 8:36Yes. Are we reading it right now? We want to start, I guess, in two weeks. Uh, and definitely it's one of my, on my favorite, uh, books. We read it, like, uh,
94. 8:46a year ago, I guess. Yeah. But, uh, we definitely...
95. 8:49It's a book that we gotta go back and reread it because every time I feel like every time I open up and read something new, it has a different meaning now.
96. 8:59Yeah. You know, because our life is changing and our priorities are changing.
97. 9:04So now, uh, those concepts becomes more important or with different meaning, I guess. Yeah. It's very true. Yeah.
98. 9:13So I'm really eager to start re- rereading that book again with Lyn.
99. 9:18And then also, um, those comments from other ladies in that community, they open up something new that is always- Always. Always, right? When you, "I got this. This,
100. 9:31this is what I mean." But when you see other ladies commenting them, they say, "Oh my gosh, I didn't see that point of view before." Right. Right. Yeah.
101. 9:39So that's a beauty part of being, of being, um, part of the, of the book club.
102. 9:44And let me tell you that it was also one of my dreams to h - be part of a book club. No way. Always. Oh, yes. When I was, uh, a long time ago,
103. 9:55I was taking ESL classes in a community college in San Diego, and we, uh, and my, my, my teacher,
104. 10:05she was great. She was a wonderful teacher from Japan. And, uh, and she studied it, a new, uh, uh, in a club with us, with the students.
105. 10:15But it, it, it, it didn't, it didn't go that long because, I mean, we were younger, people, they don't, you know, uh, we didn't have time back then. We really like a,
106. 10:25we read like a three or four books and we stopped. Yeah. But, uh, now when I saw the, the extra activity in that community,
107. 10:34I mean, oh, okay, this is, this is my time now. I love it.
108. 10:39Well, you've had these three years in the community, and every single month we have a new study guide or roadmap.
109. 10:46And I'm curious if there's one that really stands out to you or is particularly memorable or a favorite that you've had over the last three years.
110. 10:56Well, like everybody says it's hard to say, right? Because we have been, uh, uh, having a lot of aha moments with different topics,
111. 11:07like talking about, um, um, Jomo, Fomo, remember?
112. 11:12And, uh, uh, resilience, friendship. I mean, menopause sometimes. And, and the f - the found one was like a, a skincare routine. However, um,
113. 11:24I still remember the ones who really resonates with me, and it was the, uh, uh, life post pandemic.
114. 11:33Remember that? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
115. 11:35And because it was like moving from languishing to flourishing.
116. 11:40Ooh, good memory.
117. 11:42Yeah. Wow. And those... Well, because the pandemic is still, is still, is still in me, you know? It was such a difficult moment.
118. 11:49And when I joined the community, it was, it was one of the first roadmaps that I review with you. And, uh, it was,
119. 11:58it was such a great experience learning those concepts, you know, like languishing to flourishing. And at the beginning, obviously,
120. 12:07it was a new vocabulary for me and a new way to see how the pandemic was affecting us without knowing, right? Right.
121. 12:17And discovered that a lot of people was, like, languishing without knowing.
122. 12:21Yeah. It's like a, a, a, it's a, it's like a mental state of emptiness, you know?
123. 12:26And you don't know that you are in that moment when your life is like a blah, and you are not catching yourself, uh, uh, uh, sleeping slowly into,
124. 12:36into loneliness or, or so - or solitude, right? Yeah.
125. 12:40Yeah.
126. 12:40Yeah. Yeah. So that was one of my favorites.
127. 12:43That's so interesting. Well, I, I wanna say, you've just mentioned a few phrases that I think are really good ways to define or give examples of what it means to languish.
128. 12:55So you said when life is just kind of blah, like, boring. It's... There, there's no emotion, there's no feeling, there's no excitement.
129. 13:03You also said slipping into loneliness and maybe not recognizing how lonely you feel. Are there any... When you think of that word languishing, to languish, is there anything else that comes to mind?
130. 13:15And if you think about that pandemic experience, how else would you describe that word?
131. 13:21And then w - after you think about that, what does it mean to transition to flourishing?
132. 13:26So talk a little bit more about what those two words mean to you and what you discovered about them.
133. 13:33Well, it's because I still remember that phrase, the, the, the, the grounding framework, uh, phrase that you use in the, in the,
134. 13:43uh, roadmap. It was, if you are languishing,
135. 13:48you might want to check out your soil. Remember that? Mm-hmm.
136. 13:54And it means that if you are not growing, if you are not feeling okay, if you're just lack of wellbeing, you gotta ask questions how you're living.
137. 14:06You gotta rewire your life and see, and do some activities that is gonna make you happy. Mm-hmm.
138. 14:14So they are really, um, uh, a, a, a, a, a strong connection between those words because when you're languishing,
139. 14:21you are not growing. You are just, just stage, you know, and you just, uh, uh... And during the pandemic, a lot of people just stay in front of Netflix all day long because they,
140. 14:32there were nothing to do. We were languishing and people were just... We just, we just in the survival mode, right? We just, just, just there,
141. 14:41just waiting, uh, until the pandemic was over. And, uh, when it was over, we didn't know, we didn't know what to do. Mm-hmm. You know,
142. 14:50we, we didn't know what to start. How, how can we... Everybody was afraid.
143. 14:55And then with, when you said that we're languishing and now we gotta move to flourishing, it's like now we gotta go to, we gotta go outside and grow. Mm-hmm. You know,
144. 15:06now we gotta go and leave practice yoga, r- running.
145. 15:11I remember that, that, that activity that I missed - Yeah.
146. 15:15During pandemic is we couldn't run outside. Mm-hmm. You know, we couldn't even walk outside and I always remember those, those terms.
147. 15:24And when my kids are inside the house, especially here in Arizona for the weather, I said, "No, we are not languishing.
148. 15:30We gotta go outside. Find ways, right? Went to the pool, find...
149. 15:35There's a lot of waterpark here." So there is always resources outside that we can go and, uh, make our day better.
150. 15:45Yeah. That's incredible. I, I love everything you're saying.
151. 15:48I think it's such a great highlight of what the community is about, because it gives us these opportunities, number one, to learn the language we need for these conversations in English.
152. 15:58These aren't really the kinds of
153. 16:02topics that you'll discover in a vocabulary book or a grammar book or a traditional class. And so we get to really explore new vocabulary, new language on topics that are really important to us or the topics that we
154. 16:14talk about with our closest friends, our loved ones.
155. 16:17I think that's what's so much fun. And as you said, whether it's the book club or the roadmaps, getting to have the perspective of everyone else in the community,
156. 16:28it opens, it opens my mind so much.
157. 16:31I feel like I'm constantly learning new ways to see the world, understand the world, and be able to have such meaningful conversations with others.
158. 16:43It's a really powerful experience, I think.
159. 16:46It is. And, and, and flourishing is also that, you know, like, connect with other in, in, in the nice way and the opportunity that we have in the community,
160. 16:56just connect with other ladies from different, uh, uh, countries and cultures and languages and idea and way to, uh,
161. 17:07where, where raised, it makes that community really rich.
162. 17:13Yeah.
163. 17:13Uh, yeah. It's, uh, it's... And I still hear, you know, a- after three years, I still, uh, yeah, I just love it. I always say that is my, it's my social media. Yeah, I love it.
164. 17:23So that community is my social media because everybody's getting...
165. 17:27We get really personal, and we really, really deep in our topics.
166. 17:32Yeah. And we are not afraid of being judged or being criticized, and it's a inclusive, you know, platform.
167. 17:41Yeah. Yeah. It's really freeing. I'm curious, so you're in the book club.
168. 17:46I know that you're... Recently, you've also started to host conversations. You're doing quite a few things.
169. 17:53And I'm curious for you, what is something right now that
170. 17:58you're really focusing on for your English?
171. 18:00Do you have sort of a next goal or something that is particularly important to you right now for your English?
172. 18:09Well, uh, that's a really interesting question because at the beginning when I start, I have so many goals, you know? I wanna do this, and I wanna improve my speaking, and I wanna improve this,
173. 18:20and I wanna improve my writing. But you know what? Right now, America, I just want to enjoy the, the pro - the process. Yeah. Uh, at the beginning, it was so stressful. It,
174. 18:32it can be so stressful for non, uh, speaker, non-native speakers. When we came to the US, and we don't know... And we got,
175. 18:41we gotta start from scratch, not just the language, but the culture. And, uh, and I remember when I was...
176. 18:48I was terrified when my husband want me to take with, uh, hanging out with friends. I couldn't speak. I couldn't communicate.
177. 18:55I couldn't connect. And it was, it wasn't me because I'm really social and, you know, and I was, I was feeling so bad.
178. 19:03But after years of being practicing, doing the job, and, uh, and, uh, I changed my, my mindset. You know, the mind, the, the...
179. 19:12And Utah has that too, the, the fixed mindset that has to be hard. It has to be, like, like, putting all your effort there. No, it's not, it's not that anymore.
180. 19:22I enjoy it. I, I really... I, I'm not afraid to say, "Hey, excuse me. I, I, I, I didn't understand. Can you please repeat it? I mean, can you go slow?" I,
181. 19:31I, I mean, I'm not afraid anymore. I- It's amazing. Yeah.
182. 19:35The community's changed, changed that on me. I was... Yeah, I would say that. And, uh, and I, and I, and I see it because when,
183. 19:42when we go and hanging out with, uh, my hu - my husband's friends from work, especially because he, um, has a lot of, um, like,
184. 19:52legal professionals, and, uh, and I go there, and, uh, I feel so comfortable.
185. 19:57I feel so embracing my, my, my language and my accent, you know, and, uh, and I, I feel really proud of that - Yeah. That I'm now enjoying it. Yeah.
186. 20:09I'm not suffering or I'm not feeling bad anymore.
187. 20:13I believe that I overcome shyness and, uh, and, and shame for not being or speaking like Americans, you know?
188. 20:23Yeah. You just used a really powerful word of overcoming shame.
189. 20:27That's a really hard thing to do. And there is, I don't, I don't know how much you have felt that,
190. 20:36but I know for myself too, there is shame sometimes, and there shouldn't be
191. 20:42feeling shame because we can't speak another language like a native speaker, but for some reason, we do feel it, which is so frustrating and it's really hard to overcome.
192. 20:54So I love hearing what you've just said, and I, I love that you're kind of like, "Oh, I don't... I don't have any goals, right?" Well, I shouldn't say I don't have any goals, but I'm not focused on goals.
193. 21:04I'm just focusing on enjoying. I'm focusing on having fun.
194. 21:06I'm focusing on living life in the language.
195. 21:09And I think that is probably the best
196. 21:13goal that you could have, is just to enjoy it and experience the language.
197. 21:18I think that's absolutely fantastic. I love it. I'm curious if you said, you, you mentioned that, you know, the community has changed your mindset and you're less shy, you've overcome some of these challenges.
198. 21:30Do you think your definition of confidence or what it looks like, what it feels like has changed?
199. 21:38Is your idea of confidence in English different now, do you think?
200. 21:42Or how would you describe it? What is.
201. 21:45Confidence? 100%. Yeah. 100%.
202. 21:46And I have been a confident person since I was little. I mean, in my language, you know, in my country. But when, when, when,
203. 21:57when life or destiny change you and put you in a different situation is when you say, "Oh my gosh, I'm not that confident," you know? It's when,
204. 22:06when you start asking, uh, how confident you are.
205. 22:10And that's why I found resources like the community. Like, I recognize that I needed help, that I couldn't do it by myself, you know?
206. 22:19I took so many classes and so many, uh, um, resources, uh, that I used, and there weren't enough because I still feel the, the,
207. 22:30the, the doubts, the self doubts on me.
208. 22:34And something that you taugh us is like, uh, I have a lot of myth that, that I needed to, to break. You know, like, uh, we came here to the US and say,
209. 22:44"Oh, I'm not good in languages. I'm not gonna learn it.
210. 22:47It's not in me." You see what I mean? And, uh, and I, it's like w - it's when I say, "Oh, I'm not a runner." But when you practice and practice and practice, I mean,
211. 22:57you're gonna become a runner. It's the same with English, you know? And, and, uh, I know a lot of people that they have been living here in the country for many
212. 23:06years, but they say it's because it's, language is not in me. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not good enough on that. And, uh, you have that mentality, but as in, in certain point, we gotta break it, you know? And I say, no, it's not,
213. 23:18it's not right. So we gotta break it. We gotta do the job. Obviously, it's not gonna come automatically. It's gonna take some hard work.
214. 23:28Mm-hmm. But at the end of the day, it's, it's worth it. And it, it works. Yeah.
215. 23:32We gotta trust, we gotta trust the, the, the process. And, and, and it's...
216. 23:36And I did, you know? I start, like, I'm not gonna believe those myths anymore.
217. 23:41Those, those beliefs are not right. Those beliefs are just in my head, and I need to stop thinking, and I gonna listen to America.
218. 23:51I gonna listen. I gonna learn. I'm gonna start enjoying it. And, uh, and my confidence change 100%. And I see it when I go with, with my family and s - and they see me, like, speaking English, "Oh,
219. 24:03who is this lady? So she's not a..." I can see that in their faces, you know?
220. 24:09And, uh, and, uh, I mean, it has so many uses as, uh, uh, um, uh, as a mom too, just go and talk to my kids, teachers,
221. 24:17you know? I just, uh, fight sometime for my kids' rights. Yeah.
222. 24:22Especially now with this environment in the US, so you, you, we need it, we, we need to, uh, to speak up. Sometimes we need in, uh, in,
223. 24:32in a, in a, in a respectful manner, always, you know? And you...
224. 24:38And this is the beauty of the community that you have taught us so many resources and skills, but also manners, you know?
225. 24:48Also, uh-huh. Also, like, uh, a nice way to use that language and how communicate, how can we communicate better - Mm.
226. 24:58To make our message go through.
227. 25:02Interesting. I, I, I've never really thought about that.
228. 25:06I've never con... I, I think you're probably right, but I've never really put that together, that that's also something that we've done in the community.
229. 25:14And I'm thinking back to a conversation I had with Seema, and she talked about that a little bit, that one of her favorite roadmaps was learning the ability to
230. 25:26disagree, the ability to ex - fully express what you think and how to do it in a way that's polite so that you're heard,
231. 25:34but to be able to say what you really want to say, not the nice thing, not the Always having to agree, but if you disagree or you have to argue for your children,
232. 25:46if you have to stand up for yourself, for your kids, or a family member, or a loved one, how do you do that in the best way possible? Uh, so I'm,
233. 25:56I'm glad to hear that that's been helpful. I wanna ask one more question.
234. 26:00You've talked about this huge change in your mindset, your confidence, your willingness to enjoy English and just live in the language.
235. 26:10Can you identify one specific point where you really recognized that change, or do you... Was it just kind of over time?
236. 26:22Wow. Um, let me think.
237. 26:25I don't know it was like a breakup moment when I say, "Oh, I got it. I got it." I don't think it works like that.
238. 26:35So I believe that, that learning is like, uh, waves, you know, in waves. And,
239. 26:44and that confidence plays an important role because sometimes when you just believe that you just got it,
240. 26:55something happened, a conversation goes bad or somebody didn't understand you or something, you know, and, and then you start, you feel like, um,
241. 27:06how can I say it? Like, well, kind of depressed, you know? How can I - Yeah. Oh, the, the work that I'm doing, it's not, it's not, it's not working. Yeah.
242. 27:14And then it's when you gonna want to, uh, give up.
243. 27:19I say, "I give up.
244. 27:20I'm not good on this." And believe me that I had those moments.
245. 27:25Yeah. I had those moments when I say, "Okay, I'm done.
246. 27:29I just wanna embrace what I have.
247. 27:32I just want to accept that this is the best that I can do, and I just gon - I just wanna start my learning." And, uh, and I'm glad that I didn't,
248. 27:42because there is always room for improving. And, uh, and I feel right now like I'm polishing, you know, I'm polishing,
249. 27:51like I put my, my, my, my language a little bit nicer. Yeah. So, but I cannot tell you if was one specific moment. Yeah.
250. 28:01I believe that, that it has been in waves and, uh, and, and just at the end of the day, it just, you just go outside and, and you are not afraid anymore. .
251. 28:13Yeah. I love it. I love it. I think you're totally... I agree with you 100%.
252. 28:16I think you're totally right. I love that picture that you've used of, of experiencing the language and experiencing confidence a little bit like waves. And I,
253. 28:26I think all of us who have gone through the language learning experience and had moments of great confidence or we've had a
254. 28:35conversation that was awesome and we feel so good, and we think, "I finally made it," and then something happens, as you said.
255. 28:42A conversation goes badly, someone doesn't understand you, and it just takes away everything that just happened.
256. 28:49And you just said it's, it's kind of like you get depressed, you do, and you get - Yes. Knocked down, and you start to go into that self-doubt spiral,
257. 28:58but the key is getting out and saying, "No, you know what? This is a moment, this is a day, this is a conversation, tomorrow's another opportunity.
258. 29:05Let me get back up. Let me trust that that was just one thing, but my confidence is growing, my skills are growing." I think it's why I always say that confidence isn't
259. 29:17a feeling. It can be a feeling, and it's great when it's a feeling, but it's really a choice. It's a choice that we make - Yes.
260. 29:24To just trust all that practice that we've done, trust the skills that we've gained, and to understand that one bad conversation doesn't take away
261. 29:35everything that you've done. I think that's a challenge, but that's the key.
262. 29:40Yeah, no, definitely.
263. 29:41And understand those mistakes and bad moments are part of that progress.
264. 29:47Yeah. Are part of the practice too. Yeah. And, uh, and, and that the community helped me to understand that I gotta embrace my mistakes.
265. 29:55It's okay. It's this... I mean, it's not, it's not...
266. 29:59As long as you Keep doing your job and as, as long keep, keep, uh, believing in yourself and do the, and do those exercise in the community,
267. 30:08that progress is gonna h - is, is gonna happen. It's gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna pay, pay off.
268. 30:15Yeah. Yeah. Great ph - well, great phrasal verb to pay off and great way to finish that. I love that.
269. 30:20And even though it's so
270. 30:23frustrating that those mistakes are part of the process, nobody wants them, you're absolutely right that they are. We have to go through them, unfortunately, but you're right that it pays off in the end. So Martha,
271. 30:35thank you so much. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
272. 30:38Thank you for sharing your expertise and experience. And I, I just really enjoy getting to hear how much things have changed for you in the last several years.
273. 30:48And I'm excited to see what happens as you continue polishing and continue to enjoy living life in English.
274. 30:57So thank you so much for sharing with me.
275. 31:00No, thank you. Thank you, America. Thank you for these, uh, amazing, uh, resources that you have for us.
276. 31:06Thank you for letting me to host some discussions in the community, which is I love. And, uh, and thank you for having me.
277. 31:17After that conversation, I had to quickly jump over to the competent women community because I wanted to find that roadmap that Martha talked about.
278. 31:26And back in August 2023, that's when we had our study guide on the topic of life post pandemic,
279. 31:35from languishing to flourishing. It's such a powerful topic, and not just for life after the pandemic,
280. 31:42but we could use those same words to talk about English confidence.
281. 31:48Languishing means to lose strength or to be stuck for a long period of time. And many women I know,
282. 31:57many students I know have felt stuck in their English for so long. They've languished.
283. 32:05And then when you transition into flourishing, flourishing is vibrant.
284. 32:11I want you to think about a garden that is green and growing.
285. 32:15It's full of bright, big green leaves and flowers.
286. 32:20Flourishing is life and hope and growth.
287. 32:24And that transition is exactly what Martha talked about.
288. 32:28Her transition into English confidence is really the story of languishing to flourishing. And I hope that in that conversation,
289. 32:37it gave you insights on how you can do exactly the same in your English confidence and in your English fluency.
290. 32:47If you had an aha moment during that conversation or a moment where you though, yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for, or yes, that's exactly what I needed to hear, I would love for you to tell me about it.
291. 32:59You can share that in the comments, of course. Thank you so much for joining me.
292. 33:02Thank you for listening to this conversation I had with Martha, and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.