A Real English Conversation about Speaking Up with Sima

معنی واژه با لمس

1. 0:00I am really excited to share something new with you today.
2. 0:03If you've been following me for a while, you know that every Wednesday I share a new Confident English lesson on my Speak Confident English website on YouTube and Spotify.
3. 0:15But this week is a bit different.
4. 0:17I'm introducing a new monthly series called Confident English Conversations. What that means is I'm asking someone,
5. 0:25I am inviting a special guest to come in and sit down with me to simply have a conversation in English to just enjoy connecting human to human.
6. 0:36I'm doing this for a couple of reasons. Number one, I don't know about you, but I know I feel the most alive and the most joyful when
7. 0:44I truly get to connect to someone else when I get to have a real conversation with someone.
8. 0:50And I want to invite you into some conversations that I'm having.
9. 0:55The second reason I'm doing this is I'll be talking with individuals who have worked toward English confidence, and they've experienced success in English confidence.
10. 1:06So I want you to hear what they've done to make those changes.
11. 1:10But I also want you to hear what happens in real conversations, the mistakes that we all make, the moments when we feel uncertain or we forget words or we hesitate,
12. 1:20or we have to try to say something in a different way.
13. 1:23We all experience those moments in real life conversations, but it's okay. It's part of the moment.
14. 1:32It's part of connecting with someone else.
15. 1:34So I want you to hear what all of that is like, and I want you to hopefully also
16. 1:42walk away with some new vocabulary that you can use in your English conversations, and also strategies or ideas for how to continue developing
17. 1:53your English confidence. So today my special guest is cma.
18. 1:57I've known CMA for more than two years.
19. 2:00She and I are going to talk about a lot of random things. Today, we'll talk about some very unusual or unexpected weather that we have here in California where we live.
20. 2:11We're going to talk about helicopter parenting.
21. 2:14We will chat about disagreeing in English and how challenging it can be, and how you can disagree in a way that allows you
22. 2:25to be authentic or true to who you are, what you value, or what you really think.
23. 2:32We'll also chat about what has helped CIMA develop English confidence.
24. 2:36So I hope that you enjoy this confident English conversation today.
25. 2:46Cima, I'm so excited to chat with you today.
26. 2:49We've got lots of things to talk about, but before we do all of that, something that's kind of unique about you and I is that you and I both
27. 2:59live in the Monterey Bay area in California, and I'm really curious what you love most about living here in Monterey Bay.
28. 3:09Yeah, thank you and Emery for inviting me for the podcast and talking about Monterey.
29. 3:16I am giving here for more than 19 years now.
30. 3:21Oh my gosh, yes. Okay. I didn't know it had been that long.
31. 3:25I came from India and landed to Monterey only, and I'm leaving since then. Here, here only. Wow.
32. 3:32So the the best part is like, um, the best part is, I wanna say, um, the, the slowness.
33. 3:44Um, I mean, the people are not in hurry all the time. And, uh, is, yeah, it is like more resonating nature, living near the beach.
34. 3:53And I like going hiking and I have lot of hiking places nearby my house.
35. 3:58I don't have to drive. I just walk and go in the woods. Yeah. So that's thing.
36. 4:03And my kids are also enjoying their friends and school, and I don't want to move from here. Yeah. It's.
37. 4:10It's perfect here. It's absolutely, and I'm, so you came straight to Monterey Bay from India, and I'm curious so many people who have never
38. 4:22visited California before, they have these expectations that California is sunny and warm, and you can go swimming in the ocean any day you want.
39. 4:32Did you have those same expectations? Were you surprised by the weather here, or did you know No, that.
40. 4:39It would be, no, I didn't know about the weather before.
41. 4:42Now I am like accumulated with this weather to, before I, I was an Indian girl. I like, like warm weather, . Did you miss.
42. 4:51It? Do you miss the heat in India or do you like this weather better?
43. 4:56Pros and cons, uh, for everything. Like, I have my family in, in India, and I have lived half of my life there. So I have friends over there,
44. 5:05but the, the, the beauty of nature, nature I am having here, it's not there.
45. 5:12Well, so just for anybody who will listen to this, the weather where we live, it's never hot, but it's not usually very cold. It's always mild. Yeah.
46. 5:24And in the summertime we get a lot of fog. It's cloudy and foggy.
47. 5:29Yes.
48. 5:29In.
49. 5:30This time, InTime here. Yeah. So it's really unexpected.
50. 5:33I know a lot of people come here in the summer with their kids.
51. 5:36They're on their California vacation and they bring shorts and t-shirts, and then they get here and they're freezing.
52. 5:45And I, I.
53. 5:47The water is so cold here.
54. 5:49I don't know how anyone swims or surfs. It's so cold.
55. 5:53It's such a surprise. But it's beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.
56. 5:58Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, whenever I see kids swimming in the ocean, I feel like, oh my God, it's freezing. . Yeah. It's such a.
57. 6:06Shock. Absolutely a shock. Well, you and I, we've known each other since 2024. Sema. I was mm-hmm .
58. 6:14Thinking back, you joined the Confident Women Community back in 20 June, or no, January.
59. 6:20January, 2024.
60. 6:22Yes. So.
61. 6:23We've known each other about two and a half years.
62. 6:26Mm-hmm .
63. 6:27And I'm really curious.
64. 6:29So one of the things about the Confident Women community, every month we have our study guides or our roadmaps, we focus on different topics.
65. 6:38I'm really curious to know if you have a favorite one.
66. 6:42That's very tough question to answer, because I love all of them. Every time
67. 6:49I read the roadmap, it gives me the insight and knowledge.
68. 6:56I, it, it changed my perspective and personality and in the good way.
69. 7:02And I'm improving a lot, roadmap by roadmap and, uh, specifically self-development roadmap I really admire. And, um,
70. 7:12yeah, if you insist me to 0.1, I mean, choose one. , you.
71. 7:16I think you were reading my mind because I was thinking, oh, I'm gonna ask you for just one .
72. 7:22Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think like, you'll insist me to choose one. So I had, I have to, uh, uh, choose one then.
73. 7:31So then that's like, uh, we had a roadmap, uh, this year in March.
74. 7:37Mm-hmm.
75. 7:37. Uh, disagreeing in English, balancing authenticity and politeness. Yes. Mm-hmm .
76. 7:45That's the roadmap is like very close to my heart.
77. 7:50I'm getting emotional right now. Yeah. Because as an, uh, uh, immigrant, I had a lot of, uh, situation,
78. 7:58a moment where just I hold my feelings and couldn't express the disagreement I had in the past.
79. 8:05But after reading that and learning and practicing and following the techniques, I felt so much relieved and relaxed.
80. 8:14I can use my word, I can say keeping authenticity without compromising my value.
81. 8:21I'm curious, Sima, for you, when you said, you know, being in the CWC has changed your personality, and particularly with this roadmap, you've been able to share your feelings,
82. 8:32especially when you don't agree and be authentic.
83. 8:35What does that really mean to you?
84. 8:36What does it mean to be authentic to your feelings, to your values?
85. 8:41I can, I can express my feelings. I mean, I'm not compromising my integrity, I will say,
86. 8:49and I'm expressing my ideas and my thoughts
87. 8:55in a polite way. I, I wanna use that, uh, uh, vocabulary we learned from the roadmap, uh, disagreeing without being disagreeable. Mm-hmm .
88. 9:06That's good memory. Yes. Because that roadmap, I, I, I, I just want to keep in my heart.
89. 9:14Do you have any other vocabulary that you remember from that particular roadmap or anything that stands out to you from that topic in particular?
90. 9:23The authenticity and validation is more close to me because I work and still I'm working on these two.
91. 9:33It's hard in the moment. I don't know about you, but when I disagree with something, especially I have very strong values.
92. 9:39And if I feel like someone is crossing those values or saying something in a way that, that disrupts my values, I get really emotional about it, and I want to disagree.
93. 9:51And it's really hard for me sometimes to remember to validate.
94. 9:56Thinking about that word that, that you're highlighting from the roadmap.
95. 9:59I don't know if it's hard for you sometimes, but Yes, yes.
96. 10:02Stepping back and.
97. 10:03Remembering to stay calm, validate, those are challenging things.
98. 10:07I'm curious if you sometimes feel that way. Yes.
99. 10:10I feel that same. Yeah. We are human being and, uh, everything comes by practice. It's not, uh, by like birth.
100. 10:18We are having these kind of skills, everyone learning. And, uh, we are improving day by day. So from the roadmap, that's the takeaway I took.
101. 10:27How to, the technique you mentioned in the roadmap, using politeness, you can, uh, uh, validate others feeling. You can, uh,
102. 10:37uh, you can validate without agreeing.
103. 10:41Mm-hmm . That's true.
104. 10:42Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well.
105. 10:44I'm so curious. So thinking about all these experiences that you've had, the roadmaps that you've learned from in the CWC, when you think about what English confidence means to you,
106. 10:56what does it mean to you? What, what does it feel like or look like when you think about English confidence?
107. 11:01English confidence For me, it is, is something like I can express my thought and, uh,
108. 11:10my ideas without worrying or without thinking I'm going to make some mistake, or that that nervousness should not be there
109. 11:20when I am talking. That's, I feel like confidence. Yeah. Um, talking without worrying, making mistakes.
110. 11:27Okay. Yeah. I'm, I wanna ask you in a moment about what has helped you reach that stage of speaking without worry, speaking without fear of mistakes.
111. 11:38Before you tell me what you've done sema, to make those changes, I wanna go back to
112. 11:46the first time you joined the Confident Women Community and the very beginning of your experience there. And just recently,
113. 11:53I was listening to one of your first speaking practices from that first month.
114. 12:00And I know over time there's been these sort of explosions in your English vocabulary, your ability to use really precise language to talk about what you're thinking,
115. 12:12what you're feeling, the stories that you wanna tell. And then recently, I think three weeks ago, maybe I was sharing something with you and I said, something new is happening in your speaking.
116. 12:23There's this new level of control and calmness in your speech. And so we're, we're noticing these big changes happening over time. But I'm curious,
117. 12:34what has helped you make those changes?
118. 12:37What is the thing that's been the most important for you in developing confidence in English?
119. 12:43Yeah. I think consistency.
120. 12:46I feel so major part for me to being more confident without, like, thinking I'm go, uh, thinking like,
121. 12:57no, making mistakes or, uh, thinking about grammar or articulation or fancy vocabulary.
122. 13:05Just I am enforcing myself to say and speak and participating in the conversation.
123. 13:13So that's one thing. And, uh, other thing, I am listening a lot these days. Okay. I mean, podcast, uh, while I'm walking all the time,
124. 13:22I am listening to some podcast or some news, or though it's not necessary, I'm understanding a hundred percent all the vocabulary or, but still,
125. 13:33I'm training my ears to listen more and more.
126. 13:36Two questions now. Number one, I would love for you to share a favorite podcast.
127. 13:41So something that you're listening to that you enjoy listening to in English.
128. 13:45Do you have a favorite right now? I.
129. 13:47Listen to, um, your podcast on Wednesday and, uh, apple News, and I listen to some parenting podcast,
130. 13:57which like gives me some ideas how to handle teenagers, kid, kid. Yeah. I, I don't want to be helicopter parents.
131. 14:07I still wanna be a good parent. , that's a great.
132. 14:11That is a great vocabulary expression.
133. 14:14Explain what it means to be a helicopter parent. Helicopter.
134. 14:17Parents means like all the time sitting on kids' head and asking and, uh, demanding and ordering. And so I want to be a good parent.
135. 14:27So we have good connection between us. And later when, like, they, whenever they want to come back, they can come back without any hesitation.
136. 14:36So that kind of connection, I want to build between, between me and my kids.
137. 14:40I love that. And that's such a great expression. I hear it.
138. 14:43My friends who are parents, they use that same term all the time. Uh, so I love that you just use that.
139. 14:49The second thing I wanna ask about your very first answer was consistency and consistency is so hard, and there's a lot of myths around what consistency really
140. 15:01is. So when you think about being consistent in your speaking, what has helped you to be consistent? Because that's such a challenge for,
141. 15:09for myself, for a lot of people, when there's something we want to accomplish, we want it, we have the motivation to do it, but actually committing to it and doing it is hard.
142. 15:19So what? Yeah, that is hard. Sometimes. I, I am also not, uh, uh, a hundred percent, uh, motivated to being consistent.
143. 15:29We had, I really like that vocabulary. Um, um,
144. 15:35uh, bi bio rhythm. Mm-hmm .
145. 15:38So that's like bio rhythm means like, uh, we have some time ups and downs in our body, in our mood. And, uh, so I follow that.
146. 15:47Sometimes I am not motivated to go in workshops or, but the motivation, I feel being con consistent. I,
147. 15:58I record myself and listen to that. So that's gives me, oh, I can, I sound not bad, not bad, I mean, not that bad, but, so that's,
148. 16:08uh, like I'm improving. It shows me it, I can see that I'm improving.
149. 16:13That gives me motivation so that, that's, uh, that's how I feel. I, uh, increase myself. And, uh, that's my thing.
150. 16:21Sima, thank you so much for joining me to chat today.
151. 16:23I was really excited to talk to you.
152. 16:25I love these opportunities just to sit and talk.
153. 16:28It was really fun to get to hear your favorite. Remember, I have to say, I was so surprised that it was such a recent one, the topic of disagreeing, but still being authentic to yourself.
154. 16:38So I love that one of our more recent roadmaps.
155. 16:41Yeah. That's why maybe I have more .
156. 16:46Yeah, it was, I, I would love, I would, I'm always curious.
157. 16:50I'm so always so eager to hear what someone likes the most, what their favorite topic was, the vocabulary that sticks in their mind.
158. 16:57So thank you for sharing that with me and just taking the time to chat with me.
159. 17:02I really love this, so thank you. Yeah.
160. 17:04Thank you. Thank you for inviting me.
161. 17:08One thing I really loved about that conversation with SEMA is the moment where we got to talk a bit about consistency, because consistency is hard.
162. 17:17I mentioned that there's this whole myth around consistency.
163. 17:23I think it's very easy to believe that being consistent means doing something for an hour every day. If we think about someone who works out, they run for an hour every day,
164. 17:34or they go to the yoga studio or the gym every day to work out.
165. 17:39If we think about someone who sings or paints or draws, it's something they do every day. And, and that's true to some extent,
166. 17:48but we all have days where we don't go to the gym or we don't run because we're too busy, we're tired, we don't feel well,
167. 17:56but it doesn't stop us from running again when we're ready or going back to the gym when we're ready.
168. 18:05And the same thing is true in English.
169. 18:06This is something we talk a lot about inside my Confident Women community, the reality that life and our schedules,
170. 18:15what we have time for, ebbs and flows. It goes in and out.
171. 18:20We have periods in our life where we have a lot of time and we can give more time to the things that we want to accomplish.
172. 18:29And there are times when life is busy, it is demanding.
173. 18:33People need us at home, maybe someone's sick or there's a work meeting that goes late.
174. 18:39These are natural things that happen in life.
175. 18:42So maybe there are some days where we can't give time to studying English, for example. That's okay. It doesn't have to stop you.
176. 18:52You have tomorrow or the next day, and the next day after that.
177. 18:55So I really love this way of rethinking what consistency means.
178. 18:59It does mean showing up regularly, but that doesn't necessarily mean every single day for a full hour.
179. 19:09I shared at the beginning of this that I had two reasons that I wanted to do this new podcast series. Number one, I just want to have these moments where I get to connect and chat with someone
180. 19:21who I know, talk about the things that interest them, the topics that they're interested in, what they're learning in English, and all of the unexpected topics that come up.
181. 19:31I just wanna have those real human moments.
182. 19:34And I'm also hopeful that along the way, you've learned some new vocabulary that you can use in your conversations.
183. 19:42I'm hopeful that you feel inspired and motivated.
184. 19:45You'll discover new ideas for how you can also advance your English speaking confidence. So thank you so much for joining me.
185. 19:54Thank you for listening in on my conversation with cima.
186. 19:57Thank you for being part of this.
187. 19:59I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts and questions.
188. 20:03Let me know if there was a part of the conversation that you really enjoyed or maybe something new that you learned along the way. Thanks again for joining me, and I look forward to next time.