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زیرنویس بعد از شنیدن بدون
سایهگویی جملهبهجمله
هر جمله پخش میشود و بعد به اندازهی کافی مکث میکند تا همان را با همان آهنگ و سرعت بگویی. اول با زیرنویس، بعد «بعد از شنیدن»، آخر بدون زیرنویس.
دیکته
جمله را (حداکثر سه بار) گوش بده و بنویس. بار سوم آهستهتر پخش میشود.
آنچه شنیدی
بررسی جملهی بعد
متن کامل
روی هر واژهی متن بزن تا معنی فارسیاش را از واژهنامهی سایت ببینی.
0:01 Hello and welcome back to the Easy English Podcast. 0:05 I'm your host Oliver, and today we are going to be talking about 0:10 a very interesting topic in clear and simple easy English. 0:18 So have you ever had it where you maybe you're at the stage with your English that you feel like you've made some big improvements. You can speak pretty fluently, 0:29 perhaps you can order meals in restaurants, you can use English in your workplace. But you still struggle to make 0:39 friendships in English, or at least to get past that next level with meeting people and connecting on a deeper level. 0:49 Perhaps you have plenty of people to talk to, but not so many people to actually talk with. 0:57 And often in this position, you can talk about the weather, your job, basic things, but it's very hard to take it to the next level. And today we're going to explore 1:08 that a little bit about why, why that happens and how you can possibly overcome that as well. It's a challenge that I think 1:18 that everyone faces at some stage when they're learning a language. Why is it so much harder to bond 1:30 with someone, to make friends with someone in another language? But as always, I want to teach 1:39 you some key vocabulary. And today we have 5 words and phrases. So we've got an adjective, some 1:48 verbs, and some nouns today that I want you to listen out for in today's episode. So I'm going to read out the words. I'm going to give you the 2:00 definition and an example, but first, if you're brand new, make sure you follow or subscribe to the Easy English Podcast. 2:10 And if you've been listening for a while, leave me a comment or a like or a thumbs up, whatever you can do. 2:17 It really helps to support and boost the show. 2:23 Our first word for today that I want you to listen for is the word superficial. Superficial. 2:29 This is a great word. It's an adjective, and it means only on the surface, so something not deep or 2:38 meaningful. So for example, I'm tired of having superficial conversations about the weather. 2:47 So they're not deep, they're not meaningful, They're quite basic conversations. Our second phrase today, it's a 2:55 verb. So it is a the verb to bond, to bond. And this means to develop a 3:03 close connection or a friendship with someone. 3:07 So when you bond with someone, you become really good friends or close. You can bond romantically with 3:17 someone as well. Our next word is vulnerability. 3:22 Vulnerability. It's quite a hard word. 3:25 And the word vulnerability means the willingness to show your true self. So including your mistakes, maybe the bad stuff as well as the good. 3:37 So almost like sharing your, your secrets, the, the true nature of yourself and true friendship often really does 3:48 require a little bit of vulnerability. 3:51 So being able to share more openly about yourself, your true 3:57 nature, some of your mistakes. The fourth word is more of a slang word, I would say, and maybe not necessarily slang 4:07 anymore, but it is the word banter, banter. 4:11 And this is a nine, and it's used quite commonly to mean, you know, playful, friendly, teasing or joking. 4:22 And often close friends, they have a bit of banter, a little bit of teasing, playful jokes between each other. 4:30 Our fifth word today is a verb, and it is to Click to click. 4:36 So this doesn't mean to literally click something. 4:40 It means in an informal sense to instantly get along with someone. So you have a connection, you 4:48 click with someone. It's a really great verb. 4:53 So for example, you can say I met someone in a cafe and we clicked instantly. So we got on really well 5:02 together. OK, so before we get on today's episode, make sure if you want to support the show to the 5:11 maximum, to sign up and support the Easy English Patreon. 5:16 We have over 60 bonus episodes on there that you get access to immediately when you sign up, as well as PDFs and transcripts and 5:27 vocabulary flash cards for each episode, for all the main podcast episodes every single week. 5:35 And of course, number one reason you get to support Easy English and myself as well as the the show as a whole. 5:44 OK, so let's have a look at the small talk ceiling. 5:48 The biggest obstacle in general to a deep friendship is the small talk loop. As a learner, you're very good at often answering basic questions. 6:00 You have your script ready. You know, perhaps where you live, what you do, and why you've moved. 6:07 But the problem is, scripts don't make friends. 6:11 They make acquaintances. When you stay in the safe zone of some perfect grammar and polite facts, you aren't always 6:21 showing your actual personality. Deeper friendship is built on that more messy stuff, those weird opinions, the failures and 6:32 specific sense of humour, which can often be particular to different friend groups. If you're too afraid to make a 6:40 mistake, you remain superficial. So not very deep on a surface level we might say. And to break that ceiling. 6:51 So to take it deeper, you have to stop being a student and start being a human that happens to speak English. 7:00 So you're not trying to think too much like, you know, answering the script or having the questions, but you start 7:07 being yourself in the language. And that brings me to my second point for today's episode, and that is the vulnerability gap. 7:18 That's what I call it, the vulnerability gap in your native language. You know how to complain about a 7:26 bad day, you know how to share a secret in a way that feels natural, and you know that process of opening up and 7:36 becoming closer with someone in a natural way. 7:42 But in English, sharing something deep feels quite heavy, maybe awkward. Perhaps it lacks the nuance that 7:51 you have in your your native language, so it doesn't sound or feel as comfortable. And you might actually think, you know, if I can't say it right or I can't express it 8:02 right, maybe I'll not say it at all. 8:05 Or perhaps you struggle to express it and it can be quite discouraging. But research does show. 8:13 So regardless of English or not, research does show that people actually like you more whenever you show a little bit of vulnerability. So a little bit more about your 8:25 failures, maybe some problems, that type of thing. 8:30 And if you struggle to find a word, you can say, you know, you can say to the person, you know, I can't remember the word for this. Let's say you're telling a story 8:40 and you forget the word. You can say, oh, I can't find the word that I need to express this. 8:46 And this moment actually can help you bond with someone. 8:50 And to get past that, that initial stage, because you're, you're sharing a vulnerability. You're sharing the fact that you don't know the word. Maybe it's a little bit 9:00 embarrassing, but you're talking about it now. 9:03 The next part, which is I think very, very true and it can be one of the most frustrating parts of learning English is the 9:11 difference in cultures. So one little trick, one thing that I guess tricks a lot of people when they first go to the 9:20 UK or the US is that making friends in English speaking cultures is typically known as something that's called the 9:29 Peach versus coconut problem. So we have what what are called Peach cultures. So for example, the USA and 9:38 people are soft, they're sweet, they're friendly on the outside. 9:42 So for example, they smile at strangers, they say, how are you? But inside there is a stone. 9:49 So there's a very hard part that is very difficult to breakthrough. It's very difficult to get into that deep part. It takes a long time, but there 10:01 are coconut cultures, so cultures which appear very hard on the outside. So this can be Eastern Europe, 10:09 maybe Germany perhaps. When I lived in Russia I saw this. Well, people can seem very hard 10:17 and cold on the outside from just first impression, and maybe they don't smile in public, they don't really talk that much in public. But once you breakthrough the 10:28 surface, which is very easy in comparison to Western cultures, they are very, very soft, friendly and deep very quickly. 10:41 So if you come from a coconut culture, a culture where you, you, you don't have a lot of that expressiveness on the 10:51 outside in public, you might come to think that you know, someone from a Peach culture like the USA or the UK is your 11:01 friend very quickly. But someone from that culture doesn't think the same way. They think I don't really know 11:10 you very well, and perhaps as well they maybe don't see you as a friend at all from those initial conversations. 11:19 They might just be friendly or maybe they're just being polite. 11:26 And this is quite difficult. And when you come from a culture like that, so let's say a culture of the UK or the US, you 11:36 develop an ability or a sense to be able to tell what someone means based on how they say it and what they say. 11:46 But of course, if English is not your native language and you weren't born in the UK or grew up there, it can be very hard to understand this. And it can take many years to 11:57 get used to it and to learn it by simply living there and by meeting these people. Here's a few phrases that might throw you off Sometimes, particularly it's something I 12:08 don't like, but sometimes people will say, you know, hey, we should really grab a coffee sometime or we should meet up sometime. And you know, what this usually 12:19 means is I've enjoyed chatting with you, it's been nice, but I don't have any plans to meet you again. 12:26 So it's a general statement that's quite polite saying, you know, I liked spending time, I would like to spend time again, 12:34 but there isn't any actual concrete plans. 12:38 The difference is if they asked you, you know, when would you like to meet for coffee or they actually trying to organise something that is different and to test if someone is being real 12:50 about this, you can do just that. 12:52 You know, if someone says we should get a coffee sometime, you can say, oh, when suits you, how about Thursday? 13:00 And you'll find out very quickly if they actually meant it. 13:05 Another phrase might be, you know, that's so interesting, we must talk about this more. And usually what that actually 13:15 means is, you know, I want to end the conversation because I don't want to keep talking about it. 13:20 So I'm pushing it till later and we'll probably not talk about it later either. So that's a good sign. 13:29 That's a good sign about that. But you know, real friends generally are made in the follow up stage. 13:36 So in many English speaking cultures people are quite terrified or shy about being too pushy or awkward. 13:46 So they often wait for you to make the move because you're the new person. Which can be quite difficult 13:53 because you know, if you also are quite shy or maybe don't want to be the person to make the move, no one makes the next 14:03 step and therefore nothing happens. 14:07 So if you don't push past that very vague sometime or that the, you know, the lack of planning a next meeting or doing something, 14:17 it's very easy to stay in that superficial acquaintance zone forever. It's very hard to take that next 14:27 step. It might feel a little bit assertive, but it is necessary to push a friendship or a relationship to the next level, I think in English speaking 14:38 cultures. But I do want to caveat this. 14:43 So I want to add a little point that when I talk about these topics, particularly, you know, about English speaking cultures 14:52 or other countries, I am generalizing. 14:55 So I'm not necessarily a stereotype, but I'm talking about trends, what I see in my own country and in other countries that and, and people that I've I've met and dealt 15:07 with. But what I want to say is that even here, so in the UK, there are so many different types of people. Some people are more assertive, 15:18 some people you know, are more open as well, and some people are more closed and harder to become friends with. 15:26 It is totally different from person to person, but as an 15:31 average as a whole, 100% I can tell you that people here, so in 15:39 the UK take a lot longer of a time to become deep friends with. It takes so much longer in my 15:48 experience. And most people that I know who have moved here, it takes a lot longer for them to develop friends with locals. And actually when I went abroad 16:00 and I was living in different in a different country, I made friends much easier with Germans. 16:07 So I have a quite a few German friends, Spanish and other cultures in other countries, not other British people. 16:16 I find it much easier because I felt that they were much more open and quick, quickly became friends with them in comparison 16:26 to here. Here friendships are built over years until you get to that stage where you can feel 16:36 sometimes like you have that deep friendship. 16:39 It's a little bit annoying sometimes, but it's just the culture. And perhaps the area of the UK that I'm from as well is a very big focus on family. 16:51 So people have their family and then their friend groups and it's much harder to get into those groups because they're already well developed and have been there for a long time. 17:03 OK, so that brings us to our listener spotlight for today. 17:08 Last week I asked you, how do you feel when you speak English? 17:13 You know, I wanted you to tell me about your experience speaking English and I had a few really great comments that I wanted to share with you today. The first we had a comment from 17:25 Matthias and he said, hey, Oliver, I get really anxious when I'm trying to speak English exactly as you said. 17:33 My heart starts to beat faster, my hands begin to sweat and I just forget simple words. But your advice here or with 17:44 your advice here, I'm going to speak again with more confidence next time. Thank you again. 17:51 You're very welcome Matthias and good luck. 17:54 That's an excellent comment, very well written and it's totally normal to feel that way when speaking. 18:01 You know your non-native language and with time it will get easier. So keep it up and keep on going. 18:09 I had another great comment from Michael and Michael said, what's up Oliver? My name is Michael. 18:16 When I speak English, I usually feel fine and confident. 18:21 However, unfortunately I haven't had many opportunities to speak English because in my country we don't speak it. 18:32 When I did have the chance to speak, I felt fine, but there were cases where I forgot a few words and it hurt my confidence 18:42 a little in that specific situation. 18:45 Don't worry Michael, it's totally normal to forget some words, but I completely understand why you felt that way. But keep it up. 18:54 You're doing great and a really really excellent comment. 18:58 Today I had another comment from I think Gyro and they said I've never spoken with another person in English but I think I will 19:09 feel a little bit overwhelmed because I'm a shy person when I talk in my native language. Now imagine speaking in another language. That's crazy. 19:21 You can do it. You should really give it a try and don't stress, no matter how badly or well you speak, it is a 19:31 victory or it is a success that you're actually trying, that you're speaking and that you're putting in effort. 19:39 Think about how many people in the world, especially those who are English or American, that don't even speak or learn 19:50 another language. So it's a big achievement already that you do. So give it a try. 19:56 You can absolutely speak in English. 20:00 OK, so basically if we recap, making deep friends in a second language is quite difficult at the beginning, especially 20:10 because we probably don't feel fully like ourselves yet. 20:15 You know? It takes time to develop your personality in your second language and to really feel like you can express yourself fully. But that matched with the 20:26 cultural differences as well can make it very hard. 20:31 But keep on trying. Keep on, you know, creating those vulnerable moments with people where you will bond and 20:39 connect and develop deeper friendships that are more than a superficial acquaintance. So you can do it. 20:48 And you know, thank you very much for listening and being a part of this podcast as well. Although I don't know you, I do consider each and every one of you one of my friends. 21:00 So thank you very much for your support for listening and I will see you all in the next week's podcast episode. 21:09 Goodbye. Have a lovely rest of your week.
دربارهی این قسمت Bonus Episodes & Full Transcript PDFs, Vocabulary Flipcards Every Week on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/englishwitholiver My Phrasal Verb Book and more : https://stan.store/easyenglishpodcast You can survive a business meeting, but can you survive a Friday night social gathering? If you feel isolated despite speaking good English, you are likely trapped in the "Acquaintance Loop." Learn why showing vulnerability is the secret to connection, how to use the "Pin Them Down" rule, and how to get native speakers to click with your true personality.