How to Talk About Aging in English | Vocabulary for Honest Conversations

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1. 0:00Getting older. . Yeah, it's happening.
2. 0:03Aging has definitely become a common topic of conversation with my friends and thankfully not just the bad parts, like all the new aches and pains, but also some of the beauty that comes with it,
3. 0:15like not caring what others think anymore and feeling more comfortable with who you are.
4. 0:22Maybe you've been in conversations in English on this as well, and maybe in the moment all you could say was, yeah, I'm getting older too.
5. 0:31And that's about to change because today we're gonna focus on the phrases we use to talk about getting older, not the specific physical changes.
6. 0:41We'll save that for another lesson, but how you're actually feeling about it, not in an overly dramatic way, but in a, here's what I'm noticing way as a result, by the end of this lesson,
7. 0:53you'll have the English expressions.
8. 0:55You need to talk about aging the way that you actually think about it and feel about it, not just with sentences like I feel old or I feel older,
9. 1:05but the real stuff. The real things that you're thinking, what you're noticing, what you're not feeling sure about, and even how to reassure a friend who's going through the same thing.
10. 1:17You're going to learn several wonderful expressions today, and I know that you don't want to just learn them, you want to remember them and be able to use them in conversations.
11. 1:27So before we get started, I have a recommendation to help you do that.
12. 1:31The best way to remember what you learned here today is to use them in real conversations and to hear yourself saying them.
13. 1:41To help you do that, I've got a free training called Say What You Want in English, and I'll put a link in the description notes below.
14. 1:49This free training will help you do exactly that.
15. 1:51It's going to help you practice saying these out loud so you get comfortable with them and you're ready to use them in real conversations. It's a simple, low pressure way to start.
16. 2:03So let's start right away with the expressions you can use when you're just noticing these changes, like maybe your energy isn't what it used to be,
17. 2:13or maybe you need more time to recover after a long week.
18. 2:18We're going to look at a few phrases that let you say that out loud without making it sound like a complaint or a crisis.
19. 2:26The first one you've probably heard before the march of time.
20. 2:32In just a few words, this expression captures something that's kind of hard to explain, but we feel it.
21. 2:39It's that idea or the feeling that time moves forward whether we are ready for it or not, and our bodies reflect that.
22. 2:48So you might say she hadn't seen her college friends in 20 years and the march of time was visible on all of them.
23. 2:58Again, with.
24. 2:59That statement, we're highlighting that time has an impact.
25. 3:03It has an effect on us whether we like it or not, and we can notice that impact. Of course, we could go into all the details of noticing someone's hair has turned gray or
26. 3:15they have new wrinkles and all of those different things.
27. 3:18Or we can just simply say that we've noticed the march of time.
28. 3:22Now connected to that, you might also notice that things are starting to slow down.
29. 3:29Recovery after exercise takes longer, late nights hit harder, and mornings feel a little less forgiving than they used to.
30. 3:38There are two expressions I wanna highlight. The first one is to slow down, which means to move or recover less quickly than it did before.
31. 3:48For example, after her 50th birthday, she noticed her body starting to slow down things that were effortless before now required more time,
32. 3:59and then the second one to hit harder.
33. 4:02This is perfect when you want to say that something affects you more than it did before, maybe like running a 10 K, perhaps when you were younger it was really easy,
34. 4:12but now the impact of that 10 k on your body, it hits harder. It has a stronger or more intense impact, and over time, that adds up,
35. 4:24which brings me to the next one to take a toll.
36. 4:28When something takes a toll, it causes gradual strain or stress. Again, it's not all at once, but it's something that happens slowly over time.
37. 4:39For example, the last few years have really taken a toll on my energy levels.
38. 4:45Once you start noticing these changes, you might also find yourself keeping an eye on things.
39. 4:52In other words, monitoring them, checking in on them regularly, you might be monitoring sleep quality, stress levels or how your body feels after the end of a long week.
40. 5:03So now I want you to imagine that you're catching up with a friend over coffee and she says she's been exhausted lately, even though she used to go to the gym five days a week without even thinking
41. 5:15about it. And in the conversation you might say, I know exactly what you mean.
42. 5:20I think it's just the march of time.
43. 5:22Our bodies need more recovery time than they used to. Now, of course, noticing things is only part of aging.
44. 5:31Sometimes what comes up is a kind of question like, is this normal?
45. 5:36Is this just stress or is it something I actually need to pay attention to?
46. 5:41So let's talk about the English that we might use for all that uncertainty.
47. 5:46In fact, have you ever heard someone say, I'm sitting with a lot of uncertainty right now.
48. 5:52It means that you're in the middle of something that is unclear, something.
49. 5:57Unresolved, and you're just living with that feeling, which can be super uncomfortable and it can be hard to take
50. 6:06it all in this expression, to take it all in.
51. 6:09It means to absorb or process a lot of new information, especially when it requires real mental effort. For example,
52. 6:19maybe you've recently left a doctor's appointment and there was a lot of new information that was hard to take in all at once.
53. 6:29Connected to that is to gauge.
54. 6:32To gauge means to assess or evaluate something very carefully.
55. 6:38It's the perfect word for those moments when you're trying to figure out what's normal.
56. 6:43Like it can be difficult to gauge how much of my forgetfulness is just stress and how much is simply a part of getting older. Now, in the middle of all that uncertainty,
57. 6:55there's real value in staying mentally sharp and focused for this. In English, we say to keep your wits about you,
58. 7:04and it means staying alert or staying clearheaded even when things feel overwhelming.
59. 7:10Here's a quick example with all the work stress and health stress, I'm trying to do what I can to keep my wits about me,
60. 7:19and then there's the expression to hold it all together.
61. 7:24Life obviously doesn't get simpler as we get older does it?
62. 7:28There are more responsibilities, more transitions, and sometimes more loss.
63. 7:34So finding ways to hold it all together to stay grounded and composed even when things feel hard,
64. 7:42is something a lot of us quietly work at every single day.
65. 7:47A friend might say this to you between changing jobs, sending my son off to college and experiencing perimenopause.
66. 7:56I'm doing what I can to hold it all together. In other words, I'm doing what I can to stay grounded, to stay composed. Alright,
67. 8:05I have to tell you that a few months ago, inside my Confident Women community, that's my English conversation club for women.
68. 8:12We had an entire month of talking about aging in English, and one thing that I heard again and again in those conversations was this,
69. 8:21conversations about aging aren't always just about what is happening to us, but they're also about how we choose to see aging.
70. 8:30In fact, research shows that people with positive beliefs about aging tend to live seven and a half years longer than those who feel negatively about it.
71. 8:41Now, of course, positive thinking doesn't mean pretending that everything is perfect.
72. 8:47It starts with honesty and admitting if we've been papering over our real feelings about getting older.
73. 8:55If you stop papering over everything, then something interesting happens, your perspective begins to change, and you may start to gain some distance.
74. 9:06This means stepping back emotionally from something so that you can see it clearly and objectively doing this takes time.
75. 9:15But once you've done it, once you have that more objective perspective, things look different, and here's a great way that you could use that expression. It took years,
76. 9:27but she finally gained some distance from the idea that her worth was tied to her appearance. And with that distance comes something else.
77. 9:37You start to feel more in tune with yourself.
78. 9:41This means being deeply aware of what you actually want and what matters to you. For an example, we could say one unexpected gift of aging is finally
79. 9:52feeling in tune with what makes me truly happy. Now, if you're anything like me, you might be a very nostalgic person and you might find yourself
80. 10:02looking back on earlier parts or earlier chapters of your life with a new understanding, a perspective, and not just the struggles that you had then,
81. 10:12but also the growth that has happened as a result. Now, to look back on something means to reflect on the past, to reflect on a past period of your life,
82. 10:24often with a new understanding or appreciation of what happened at that time. So here's an example of how you could use this.
83. 10:32When I look back on my thirties, I wish I had worried less and trusted myself more.
84. 10:39And perhaps in this process of reflecting on age, you come into your own.
85. 10:45This means to reach a point where you feel fully confident, capable, and authentically yourself. With this particular expression,
86. 10:55I kind of like thinking about a kid with shoes that are way too big.
87. 11:01So they seem awkward and uncomfortable for a little bit, but eventually she grows into those shoes, they fit, and coming into your own is a little like that.
88. 11:12And now let's move into the fourth part of this lesson today with language that helps us to connect and reassure others because of course, talking about the process of aging isn't just helpful for
89. 11:24describing your own experience. It's not just a personal journey.
90. 11:28This is something obviously that we talk about with our friends, our mothers, our sons, and our daughters.
91. 11:34And sometimes the most important thing we can do is help someone else feel less alone in this process.
92. 11:41So the last three expressions that I wanna share with you today are for exactly that purpose. The first one is to play a part in something.
93. 11:51This means to.
94. 11:53Contribute to something, to have an influence on it, and it's a generous way of looking at life's harder moments.
95. 12:01For example, you might say to someone, every experience, even the difficult ones, played a part in making me who I am today.
96. 12:10And then there's the expression to give it a try. Simply put, this is what we do when we have a healthy perspective.
97. 12:18We give something new a try, whether it's a new hobby, a new friendship, or even a new way of seeing yourself.
98. 12:26And it's what you can say to a friend who's feeling hesitant or who thinks she's too old, too tired, or too far behind. In fact,
99. 12:36you could say to someone, you don't have to be sure that it will work, or you don't need to be sure that this new hobby is for you.
100. 12:43Just give it a try and see what happens. And finally, we have the expression to show up.
101. 12:51This means to be present and actively engaged in your life, especially during challenging moments. Not perfectly,
102. 12:59not with all the answers. It just means to be there, to be present, to be aware.
103. 13:04For example, aging Well isn't about having everything figured out.
104. 13:10It's about choosing to show up for yourself one day at a time.
105. 13:15You now have multiple expressions for talking about the feelings and the experiences of aging in English, the way that you may actually be thinking it and experiencing it right now.
106. 13:26So here's my challenge to you.
107. 13:29I want you to use one of these phrases this week in a conversation.
108. 13:34It may be with a conversation you have with a friend, or maybe you write about it in a journal, or maybe you practice speaking it out loud. Using that,
109. 13:44say what you Want training. However you decide to use these phrases this week, the more that you use them, the more natural they're going to become,
110. 13:53the easier it will be for you to use them in conversations that matter going forward. And again, if you wanna a place to actually practice conversations like this in English
111. 14:05with other women who get it, who feel the exact same way and have the same goals as you, that's what the Confident Women community is for.
112. 14:14We spend entire months going deep on topics just like this, and the women who show up for those conversations always say the
113. 14:23same thing. This is exactly what I needed right now. Again, I'll leave a link where you can learn more and join me inside the Confident Women Community in the description notes below. With that,
114. 14:35if you found today's lesson helpful to you, I would love to know.
115. 14:38So be sure to subscribe or follow wherever you're listening or watching from today. Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to seeing you next time.