What Happens When Your Child Speaks Better English Than You

معنی واژه با لمس

1. 0:00If you're a mum living in an English-speaking country, there was a time when you and your child were learning English together.
2. 0:10You were reading books at bedtime, both of you sounding out the words together.
3. 0:17You were sitting at the kitchen table helping them with their homework, and you were looking things up when neither of you knew the answers.
4. 0:25And then somewhere along the way, he stops needing you for that.
5. 0:30He's got his own friends now, his own jokes, his own music, his own group chat, all of it in English, in a part of his life that you're not really in.
6. 0:44So you're at the school gate waiting, and he's standing there with two of his friends and you say one small thing wrong.
7. 0:52" Ugh, that's not how you say it, Mom." And then he turns to his friends and he says, " Oh my God, she's so embarrassing." Hey, ladies.
8. 1:12Welcome back if you are a regular listener, and a big welcome if you are joining for the very first time.
9. 1:20This is the Confident English Podcast.
10. 1:24My name is Emma.
11. 1:25I'm the founder of Hey Lady!, an online community that brings women together from all around the world to meet new friends and to practise speaking English.
12. 1:37To find out more about what we do and how we can help, head over to our website, which is where you can sign up for a free seven-day guest pass.
13. 1:47The link is down in the description or in the show notes.
14. 1:52And right now, we're gonna dive straight into this episode.
15. 2:04This episode was inspired by Magda.
16. 2:07Magda is Polish.
17. 2:09She's been living in England now for about nine years, and she has two boys.
18. 2:15In her message to me, she wrote, When my boys were small, I helped them with their English and we were learning together.
19. 2:24Now they speak much better than me because of the school and their friends.
20. 2:29So now it's like I speak to them in Polish and they answer me in English.
21. 2:35I'm proud of them of course, but I feel my English is getting less and less.
22. 2:41What do you say to someone in this situation?
23. 2:44Magda, gosh, I can't tell you how many times I've heard a story just like yours.
24. 2:52It's both a good story and a sad one as well, and I can assure you that you are absolutely not alone in this.
25. 3:00There are definitely women tuning in right now who are nodding along because they've been exactly in this situation, or perhaps they're there right now, and it isn't easy, is it?
26. 3:13The relationship that you have with your children changes as they get older . Everyone warns you about that part, but nobody warns you about what happens to the language.
27. 3:27Because for years you've had two of them in your house.
28. 3:32Your own language and English, the one that you are building together.
29. 3:37And now, when you ask them something in Polish, more and more often they answer you in English.
30. 3:45And they still understand every word that you say, but they're just choosing it less.
31. 3:51Another woman that I've spoken to about this topic described it perfectly as if your own language is disappearing from your own house.
32. 4:02But the English that you used to practise with your boys has faded away as well, right?
33. 4:09I can hear the loss that you're sharing.
34. 4:11In fact, it's almost like you've lost something on both sides, So today, I really wanna take a close look at what happens to your English when your children grow up, and what you can do to get your English moving again.
35. 4:33So what actually happened to your English, Magda, when your sons grew up and they started spending more time with friends?
36. 4:43You lost your first real speaking partners.
37. 4:47And now you still speak English.
38. 4:49You speak English at the shops, at the doctor's, on the phone, when you've gotta pay a bill, at work if you're working.
39. 4:58And in all of those conversations, there is something at stake.
40. 5:02You're trying to sort something out, and you need to be understood the first time.
41. 5:09You need to be clear.
42. 5:10That's not practice.
43. 5:12That's performance.
44. 5:14You're on stage doing the thing, right?
45. 5:17The, the one place that you weren't performing was at home with your boys.
46. 5:23You could get a word wrong, and it didn't matter.
47. 5:26You didn't feel judged.
48. 5:28You could say it in a funny way or make a joke about it and start again because you were all figuring it out, and nobody was watching.
49. 5:37So in a sense, that's what's changed.
50. 5:41You've still got the English, but what you've lost is the one place that you can use it without worrying about getting it wrong.
51. 5:51Ladies, for those of you in a similar situation to Magda, tell me in the comments, has this happened to you?
52. 5:59When you first noticed that your child could say something in English that maybe you couldn't?
53. 6:06Or perhaps they called you out for something that you mispronounced or you said wrong?
54. 6:13And tell us what that really felt like.
55. 6:21So what do you do about it?
56. 6:23Well, a big clue is to take a closer look at what your kids actually did.
57. 6:29How it was that they happened to acquire English so quickly.
58. 6:34It wasn't just the lessons at school.
59. 6:37He made friends.
60. 6:39He had people that he wanted to talk to, jokes that he wanted to be in on, arguments that he wanted to win.
61. 6:47He heard the same things over and over again, and he tried them out.
62. 6:51He got them wrong.
63. 6:53He went back the next day and tried again.
64. 6:56He built a whole social life in English.
65. 7:01Now, I can't be too sure if you've done the same.
66. 7:05What I do know is that many of the women inside the Hey Lady! community who are living abroad, their closest friendships are often formed through their first language.
67. 7:18That's where you really can be yourself, right?
68. 7:23And I've also met lots of people who don't actually have anyone that they really consider a close friend living in the same city.
69. 7:33They still speak to their friends at home, and if that's the case for you as well, Magda, it means that your English never really gets to be the relaxed, friendly kind.
70. 7:47It's always at the doctor's or at the school office or when you're talking to the man about the internet, and that's a real gap that needs to be filled if you are going to bring your English to life as well.
71. 8:02Tell me in the comments if that feels like a familiar situation to you as well.
72. 8:09Are the people that you speak with, that you actually speak English with, are they close friends?
73. 8:17Or are they people who are a little more distant from you?
74. 8:27Perhaps what you are missing is your own relationships, your own friendships in English.
75. 8:34People that you talk to because you want to, not because you've gotta sort something out.
76. 8:41Somebody who asks you about your weekend and looks forward to seeing you and talking with you.
77. 8:47Someone who's interested in your work, or your garden, or the TV series that you're watching, anything that has been annoying you this week.
78. 8:58That's a completely different kind of English from the one that you've been living in.
79. 9:03It's warmer, it's slower, it's more enjoyable, and it gives you something that matters far more than fluency.
80. 9:12It gives you a sense of belonging, which is not always easy to find when you're living abroad, especially when your kids leave you for dead and go and hang out with their own friends.
81. 9:27So if you would like to build that, if you would like to build friendships in English, a life in English, then come and join us inside Hey Lady! Consider this your personal invitation from me.
82. 9:43This is a community of women from all over the world, women who have learned English as a second language, and a lot of them are mothers with exactly the same story as yours.
83. 9:56Some of them are living in the UK, some in Australia, others in North America, and there are plenty who are in places like Dubai, Bangkok, or Hong Kong, where the kids are in an international school, and English is quietly taking over their home as well.
84. 10:16And the conversations inside Hey Lady! are not just about improving your English.
85. 10:22You'll talk about your work, your family, where you're going on holiday next, what you thought about the thing that everyone is buying or watching at the moment.
86. 10:32Lots of easy, casual, enjoyable conversations.
87. 10:37Conversations to help you connect And the easiest way to get started is with a free seven-day guest pass.
88. 10:45You can come inside, you can meet some of our members, our community managers, join some conversations, and then decide whether becoming a member is the right decision for you.
89. 10:57The link to get your free seven-day pass is down in the description below or in the show notes.
90. 11:05But if you're watching me on YouTube, you can see me on screen.
91. 11:09You'll notice the QR code that's right here.
92. 11:12It will take you straight to the same place.
93. 11:15You just need to scan it with your phone.
94. 11:18Ladies, thank you so much for spending time with me today.
95. 11:21If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe and hit the like button if you can.
96. 11:29Um, it really makes sure that more women get to see and hear the information that we're sharing on the Confident English podcast.
97. 11:39In fact, if you know someone, a woman who is raising children in an English-speaking country who would be interested to listen to this podcast, make sure you share it with her as well.
98. 11:52I'm sure she would love to tune in, and I will see you next week, same time, same place, for our very next episode.