Making Plans in English Conversation: Essential Phrases

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1. 0:00Think about when you run into someone you haven't seen for a while, like an old neighbor or a previous coworker from a job you had years ago.
2. 0:09And in that moment, the conversation is warm and friendly.
3. 0:14And then as you're wrapping up or getting ready to leave, that person says, we should get together for coffee sometime. And you smile and say, yeah,
4. 0:22that would be great. And then nothing happens.
5. 0:27Days go by, maybe weeks. And then you start wondering, did they really mean that? Should I have said something more?
6. 0:33Was I supposed to follow up? Here's what's really frustrating about this, especially when these things happen in your second, third, or fourth language.
7. 0:43It's not just about missing that one opportunity to have coffee with someone.
8. 0:48And you know this is true. If you've ever moved to a new country, for example, these situations, they're about like you're stuck on the outside waiting for someone else to reach out first.
9. 1:01Always wondering if you missed your chance to connect with someone and start forming a friendship. Or maybe it's the opposite.
10. 1:09Maybe you wanna invite a colleague to lunch, someone that you enjoy talking to and you wanna build up that relationship.
11. 1:15Maybe it's something you've been thinking about for days, but then every time you see them, you freeze and think, what if I sound too forward? What if they say no?
12. 1:26So you just wait and wait and the opportunity passes again and again. Either way, in these situations you end up feeling just alone,
13. 1:37even though you're surrounded by people who might actually want to spend time with you making plans in any language. But in this case, in English isn't just about knowing the right words,
14. 1:49it's about understanding what people really mean and knowing how to turn.
15. 1:54We should like we should meet for coffee sometime into real plans without second guessing or feeling doubt at every step. That's exactly why.
16. 2:04Today I want to show you how to confidently make plans in English so that you can stop waiting and start building the friendships that you want.
17. 2:13So in today's lesson, you're going to learn six simple stages for making plans in English.
18. 2:19And you'll know exactly which phrases to use and when, including how to handle scheduling conflicts without feeling any stress or guilt.
19. 2:28And you'll know how to tell if someone really means it when they say we should get together or if they're just being polite. In fact,
20. 2:38this one insight will save you years of confusion.
21. 2:41So I want you to stick with me. But first, let's start at the beginning.
22. 2:45The first stage in making plans with anyone is initiating and checking availability. Every single plan begins with a simple question, is the other person available?
23. 2:57This is how you open a conversation and find out if they have time to meet with you, whether it's professionally related or just for fun.
24. 3:06But how you start that conversation depends on one thing.
25. 3:10It depends on whether you already have a very specific day and time in mind, or if you're just kind of exploring the idea, you're being open and flexible in the conversation.
26. 3:20If you're going to check someone's availability and you already have a very specific day in mind, the most common way to ask about it is, are you free on,
27. 3:29are you free on Monday or are you free on February 23rd?
28. 3:33And then if you're being more casual, more open, and you just kind of wanna explore the idea, you might say, what are you up to this weekend? Or Do you have any plans for the weekend?
29. 3:43Let's stop for a moment because there's one question I wanna talk about the question. What are you up to this weekend?
30. 3:49This is a very common and casual way to ask, what are you doing or what are your plans?
31. 3:55And all of these questions work well because they're casual and friendly.
32. 4:00You're not pressuring anyone to say yes, you're just opening the door and giving them space to respond honestly to you. I wanna show you quickly how this looks in action with a little dialogue.
33. 4:12Let's imagine two people, Sarah and Laura. Sarah says, Hey Laura, are you free this Saturday? And Laura responds with, yeah, I think so. What's up?
34. 4:22Notice in that quick exchange how Sarah asks directly but casually about a specific day. She's not pushing, she's just checking availability.
35. 4:32And Laura's response with, yeah, I think so what's up?
36. 4:35Shows that she's open to hearing more.
37. 4:38And once you know that someone is available, then stage two is suggesting an activity, whether it's getting coffee, watching a movie, or just hanging out with someone.
38. 4:49I want to share some phrases that work well at this stage, depending on how direct or open you want to be.
39. 4:57If you want to be direct and clear, you can try this. Do you want to, do you want to go to a movie, get a coffee, visit the Met on Saturday or grab dinner?
40. 5:06And then if you wanna sound more casual and collaborative, you could try this.
41. 5:11How about we? How about we see a movie? Or how about we go for dinner?
42. 5:15Or I was thinking we could, I was thinking we could visit the Met on Saturday.
43. 5:20I was thinking we could go to a museum. All three of these options work well, but using something like I was thinking we could, and how about we are softer, more relaxed?
44. 5:32They feel less like a yes no question and more like you're brainstorming or thinking out loud together.
45. 5:40And here's something really important to understand here.
46. 5:43And English speaking cultures, people often use soft indirect language when making invitations. You're going to hear things like maybe we could,
47. 5:53or how about even when they definitely want to to do something.
48. 5:58This isn't uncertainty, it's polite enthusiasm.
49. 6:03And we do this because soft language gives the other person space to say no without feeling pressured.
50. 6:12It's really a way of being friendly and respectful at the same time.
51. 6:16So again, let's go back to Sarah and Laura to see what this sounds like in a quick dialogue. After checking availability, Sarah might say,
52. 6:25I was thinking we could check out the winter festival happening downtown.
53. 6:29And Laura might respond with, oh, I'd love to.
54. 6:31I've been meaning to check it out. Notice Sarah's phrasing there.
55. 6:36I was thinking we could, she's using that soft friendly language.
56. 6:40She's making a suggestion, not giving an order, and Laura responds with real enthusiasm. Now, what if Laura had responded differently? What if she had said,
57. 6:50let me check my calendar this expression, let me check my calendar and get back to you, is something important to know about Because it's very common in English
58. 6:59speaking culture, and it does not mean rejection or lack of interest.
59. 7:04When someone says, let me check my calendar, they're doing one of two things. First, they may genuinely need to check their schedule before committing.
60. 7:15Maybe they have other plans first and they need to confirm.
61. 7:19Or the second option is they just need a little bit more time to think about it, not because they don't want to, they're just considering their energy, their workload,
62. 7:29everything they have to do that week and other commitments they may have.
63. 7:32Either way, it's completely normal and polite.
64. 7:37It's not a brush off, it's just how people manage their time respectfully. Now, before we move to stage three,
65. 7:45I wanna talk about something that causes so much confusion.
66. 7:50How to tell if someone really wants to make plans with you or if they're just being polite.
67. 7:57Because here's the reality in English speaking cultures, especially here in North America, people will often say, we should get together sometime. It was so good to see you,
68. 8:07and this is a warm way to actually end a conversation like when you run into a neighbor at the grocery store.
69. 8:15And it doesn't always mean that they're ready to put it on the calendar, it doesn't always mean that they're actually making a commitment.
70. 8:23And if you don't know about this, it's easy to end up feeling confused, rejected, hurt, or like something was wrong when nothing at all is wrong.
71. 8:36When someone says we should get together, they're typically doing one of two things. Number one, they're showing warmth.
72. 8:44They enjoy talking to you unexpectedly in the moment when you ran into each other, and they want to end that conversation on a positive note.
73. 8:53They're just being polite.
74. 8:55This is actually a friendly way to say goodbye without making any real commitment. Or they genuinely want to make plans with you,
75. 9:05but you won't really know which one it is until you see what happens next. But I wanna be clear, this isn't about being fake or dishonest,
76. 9:14it's just how politeness works. In English speaking culture, people use soft, warm language to keep interactions pleasant even when they're not
77. 9:24intending to make concrete plans. So how do you know the difference?
78. 9:29How do you know if someone is being polite and warm or if they really mean it?
79. 9:35Here's the test. Do they move on to specifics?
80. 9:39And let me show you what I mean.
81. 9:40I'm gonna present three different scenarios to you.
82. 9:44Scenario number one is about being pleasant in social interactions, but with no future plans really intended.
83. 9:51So you shouldn't count on anything really happening.
84. 9:55And I wanna show you what this sounds like in a dialogue or what you could expect. So person A might say, it was so good to see you, we should grab lunch sometime. And person B says, yes, that would be great.
85. 10:07And then both people look at each other, they smile and they walk away.
86. 10:11They say goodbye. No one mentions a specific time or day, no one follows up with a next step. The interaction, the conversation is complete and that's it. It's just a pleasant,
87. 10:23nice conversation, a polite way to say goodbye.
88. 10:27Now in scenario two, someone shows real interest.
89. 10:30They really want to make plans. So in this case, person A says, it was so great to see you, we should get lunch sometime.
90. 10:39And then person B says, I'd love that. Are you free next week?
91. 10:42And back to person A? Actually, how about Tuesday?
92. 10:47Notice the difference here. In this case, person B immediately suggested a timeframe and person A responded with a specific day.
93. 10:57Both people are fully engaged in making actual plans, and that's what real interest in making a concrete plan looks like it shows up in specifics.
94. 11:10And now let's take a look at one more scenario here.
95. 11:13Someone is kind of testing the interest.
96. 11:16You're not really sure if someone is equally as excited or eager as you are to make plans. So here's what that would sound like.
97. 11:26Once again, person A says it was so good to see you, we should get lunch sometime. And then person B responds with, I'd love that.
98. 11:34Are you free next week? And then back to person A. Oh, I'm not sure.
99. 11:39Let me check my calendar and get back to you.
100. 11:41We've heard that expression before. So in this case, person A is staying kind of vague, they're not committing,
101. 11:49and this means that they may genuinely be busy and they're not really sure what their schedule is.
102. 11:55So they actually do need to check their calendar before committing, or it might be a way of just waiting.
103. 12:01And then later they will follow up with you either with a yes or a no.
104. 12:06Either way, in this case, the best response for person B is no problem, just let me know and then leave it there. Again, if person A is truly interested,
105. 12:17they will follow up and they will make a plan or they will follow up and politely decline. So what does all this mean for you? Well, there are three things that I want you to remember here. First,
106. 12:28if someone says we should but doesn't follow up with logistics or specifics, that's okay.
107. 12:36You can let it go without feeling rejected.
108. 12:39They meant what they said in the moment, there was genuine warmth, it just wasn't a plan. And then second, if you actually wanna make plans with someone,
109. 12:50you can test their interest by responding with something specific, something like, I'd love that. Are you free next week? Or That sounds great, what about Friday? And then see what happens.
110. 13:01See if they respond with specific details back to you or if they stay vague and uncertain. Either way you have an answer.
111. 13:11And then third, I want you to remember that that phrase, let me check my calendar, isn't a brush off again, sometimes people genuinely need to double check.
112. 13:21The key is whether they follow up with a clear yes or a no.
113. 13:26And if they don't follow up at all, you can take it as a soft decline and move on.
114. 13:32The most important thing to remember here is that real interest shows up with specific language. And once you understand this, you can stop wondering or worrying about those conversations when you're not
115. 13:43sure if you said something wrong. And instead, you can just focus on connecting with the people who really do want to spend time with you. Alright, with all that background information in place,
116. 13:56once you've agreed on an activity and you know that someone's available, it's time to move on to stage three, which is determining the time and place.
117. 14:05This is where you get very specific on where you're actually going to meet these specifics. Turn suggestions into a real plan,
118. 14:14and here are some phrases you can use for this. How about with the time?
119. 14:19And then the place, for example, how about 12 o'clock at the new place on the corner?
120. 14:24Or the next one does Tuesday at 12 work for you?
121. 14:28Similar to that is how does Tuesday at 12 sound to you or simply saying, let's meet at 12 noon at the new place on the corner on Tuesday.
122. 14:38Once again, let's see exactly what this looks like in a real dialogue.
123. 14:43Going back to Sarah and Laura.
124. 14:46So once they've agreed that they're both available and they show interest in doing something together, Sarah might say, okay, perfect.
125. 14:54How about four 30 on Friday, we could meet at the entrance.
126. 14:58And then Laura responds with Actually, does six 30 work for you?
127. 15:02I'm done with work at five. In this case, both Sarah and Laura are proposing specific times.
128. 15:07They're negotiating the details together. And this is real commitment.
129. 15:13This is how you know that you're actually making plans.
130. 15:16But as we just talked about, sometimes you might propose a specific idea and the other person keeps things vague. Let's take a look at what that sounds like in a dialogue.
131. 15:28Again, Sarah might say, how about four 30 on Friday? And Laura might say, oh, I'm not sure about Friday. I'll have to see how things go.
132. 15:37What that means is that Laura isn't ready to commit.
133. 15:41She's not ready to commit to really making plans. Now, she may genuinely be unsure about her schedule and again,
134. 15:49may need to check or she may be politely declining without directly saying No. When this happens, here's the best way for you to respond without making it awkward.
135. 16:00You can simply say, oh, no problem, or no worries. If Friday doesn't work, just let me know. And then you leave it there.
136. 16:08If Laura is truly interested, she will suggest an alternative day or she will confirm that Friday works perfectly fine.
137. 16:16But what if you are the one who needs to respond to a proposed idea?
138. 16:21There are three ways that this can go. You can accept, you can decline, or you can suggest an alternative.
139. 16:29And I want to give you the exact language to do all of that.
140. 16:32So let's start with accepting and confirming when someone proposes a specific day and time to meet with you, and it works perfectly well for you,
141. 16:43this is when you confirm with enthusiasm and you kind of lock in those plans. So you might say, perfect, sounds good,
142. 16:52or That works for me, looking forward to it. These are short, simple, and enthusiastic, and that's all you need.
143. 17:00But let's say the proposed time and day don't work for you, or maybe you just don't really want to do it.
144. 17:06Maybe you're not interested in meeting with this person. In these cases, you'll need to know how to politely decline. And in English speaking culture,
145. 17:15when we decline politely, we don't give long explanations.
146. 17:20Instead, we keep it very short, clear, and polite. For example, actually that day doesn't work for me. Or actually, Tuesday at noon doesn't work for me. Or to be honest,
147. 17:31I have something else that day or Mm, it looks like my day is pretty busy.
148. 17:36Each of these examples is a soft refusal.
149. 17:39They don't end the conversation harshly and instead they actually signal that not this time, but maybe another.
150. 17:48Now I know from my students that declining or saying no can be a bit of a challenge. So I wanna show you exactly how this might sound in a dialogue.
151. 17:57Going back to our two example people, Sarah and Laura.
152. 18:01So maybe Sarah is interested in getting together, but the proposed day and time just don't work for her. So she might say, oh, to be honest, 6:30 PM doesn't work for me. I'm meeting a friend for dinner.
153. 18:13So Laura responds with, oh, no worries, maybe another time.
154. 18:16Then I want you to pay attention to that example that Sarah shared.
155. 18:21She gives a very brief reason, but she doesn't apologize repeatedly or give a long explanation.
156. 18:28She's honest and direct. It's very simple and polite.
157. 18:32And then Laura responds with understanding. Now of course, if you are genuinely interested in making plans with this person, it's just that day or that time didn't work,
158. 18:43you can then suggest an alternative.
159. 18:46And here are a few common ways that we do that. You might say, oh, I'm busy on Friday, but what about Saturday?
160. 18:53Or I'm busy on Friday this week, but what about next week? You could also say, that doesn't work, but how about next week? Or how about Tuesday?
161. 19:02And finally, if plans unexpectedly change, you could let someone know by saying, something has come up, could we meet on Tuesday instead at 3:00 PM Now,
162. 19:13here's what I really want you to remember here.
163. 19:16If you are not interested in making plans with someone, a soft decline like maybe another time is enough.
164. 19:25And if saying no in English is something that never comes easily to you, I totally get it. I find it hard as well.
165. 19:33And I actually did a whole lesson on this topic about how to say yes no and maybe in English. So if you wanna learn more about that, I'll share a link to that lesson in the notes below. All right,
166. 19:44let's take a moment to review where we are in this process of making plans.
167. 19:48At this point, you've identified whether both people are available, you've expressed enthusiasm, you've agreed on an activity and a time and a place.
168. 19:58And that means it's time for stage five, which is finalizing and committing to plans that you've made.
169. 20:04This is where you make it totally official.
170. 20:07You confirm that the plans are set and that both of you will remember them, you'll both be there. So when you're ready to do that, here's what you can say,
171. 20:16I'll put it on my calendar or done. It's on the calendar.
172. 20:21See you then These are all simple, short and clear, and that's all you need at this point. And then finally, there's one more optional, but very helpful.
173. 20:32Step stage six is about following up.
174. 20:35This means that you're checking in reconfirming before you meet.
175. 20:41So this could mean sending a short message or text message the day before or even a few hours before.
176. 20:47And doing this helps confirm that nothing has changed and it allows you to coordinate any last minute details, like a quick change in the timing or location. So when you do this,
177. 20:58here are some phrases you're likely to see, hear, and that you can also use first still on for like
178. 21:06still on for getting dinner or still on for going to a movie, or hey, just checking that we're still good for just checking that we're still good for
179. 21:15this evening at five or that we're still good for tomorrow at noon.
180. 21:20And then if something happens, if you're running late, here's what you can say, Hey, I'm running five minutes late, I should be there soon.
181. 21:28Or I'll be there about 15 minutes later than expected.
182. 21:32But what if you need to cancel? What if something totally unexpected happens?
183. 21:36Maybe you were really excited to get together with this person and then your son or daughter gets sick or something happens at work and everything is chaotic.
184. 21:46The moment that you need to cancel.
185. 21:48It's important to let the other person know as early as possible.
186. 21:52And all you need is a brief explanation. For example, you might call or send a text message to say, I'm so sorry we had a disaster at work.
187. 22:00I'm not gonna be able to get dinner tonight, but I would love to do it next Tuesday instead.
188. 22:06So you wanna propose an immediate alternative to show that you're not canceling because you're not interested, you're canceling because there really is something unexpected that happened.
189. 22:17With that in mind, let's do a quick recap on everything that we've talked about when it comes to making plans in English. The first goal for today, of course, was to give you the language that English speakers use.
190. 22:28This is the language you're going to see in text messages and emails and that you'll hear in conversations, and I want you to use that language as well.
191. 22:36The second goal, and maybe more importantly, is to understand the patterns and what's expected in this kind of
192. 22:44dance when it comes to making plans. Once you can read all the signals, making plans becomes easier and more natural. So once again,
193. 22:54here's the pattern that we've covered today.
194. 22:57First start by initiating the conversation and checking availability using simple casual questions.
195. 23:05Then suggest an activity using soft friendly language.
196. 23:10Once someone shows equal genuine interest, gets specific about a time and place, or if someone is proposing something to you, you'll want to accept,
197. 23:20decline or suggest alternatives, then finalize and commit to the plans. And lastly, follow up to confirm. And most importantly, I want you to remember these key points from today.
198. 23:32Real interest when it comes to making plans, shows up in the specifics.
199. 23:38Vague language usually keeps the situation vague and indicates lack of interest. And.
200. 23:45Lastly, you learn that that phrase, let me check my calendar, isn't always a rejection. With all of this in place, the next time that someone says we should, we should get together,
201. 23:57you'll know exactly what to say in response and you'll know whether they really mean it.
202. 24:01You'll be able to detect whether there is genuine interest or they're simply ending the conversation with warmth and politeness.
203. 24:10So now I want to hear from you. I'm very curious, which of these stages in the process of making plans, do you find the hardest in English?
204. 24:21Is it taking the step to initiate or is it declining when you don't really want to? Maybe it's reading these signals.
205. 24:29Go ahead and take a moment to share with me in the comments below.
206. 24:32I'd really love to hear from you. And of course, as always, if you found this lesson helpful to you, please take a moment to subscribe or follow wherever you're listening or
207. 24:43watching from today. Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to next time.