How to Organize Your Thoughts When Speaking English (Stop Rambling)

معنی واژه با لمس

1. 0:00When someone asks what you think in an English conversation, where do you start? A lot of my students, when they first begin working with me,
2. 0:10they tell me that it's just chaos in my mind. I have so many ideas, so many details. I don't know where to start, what to say first, or how much to say. And the truth is,
3. 0:22when you try to say it all, it's easy to get lost.
4. 0:26When there's no clear way to organize all those thoughts, speaking gets much more difficult. And quite often, that internal chaos can lead to rambling.
5. 0:38Rambling is speaking without a clear direction.
6. 0:42There are too many details, no clear point, or several ideas all mixed together.
7. 0:49I want you to think about that for a moment. When someone rambles, the listener has to work harder to understand what really matters.
8. 0:57The main idea, solution, or opinion can get lost in everything else that's being said.
9. 1:04And when the main point isn't clear, it's harder for the other person to know how to respond, which is so frustrating when you know that you have something meaningful to say.
10. 1:15Now, of course, if you search online for how to organize your thoughts when speaking, you'll find plenty of fantastic frameworks for organizing a complete answer, and those can be useful.
11. 1:28But what if the problem happens before that?
12. 1:31What if the hard part is deciding which idea to start with, which details belong to that idea,
13. 1:39and what can wait for later in the conversation or for another time? That's what we're going to work on in this lesson.
14. 1:48I want to help you organize your thoughts when speaking English right from the start so that your main point is clear and you avoid rambling.
15. 1:57So the first step in organizing your thoughts is to decide what to do.
16. 2:03Not what you want to say, but what you want to do. Here's what I mean.
17. 2:07Let's say you're listening to someone speak and several thoughts come to your mind while you're listening.
18. 2:14Maybe you agree with part of what they've said, and you have another idea to add. There's also something you disagree with,
19. 2:23plus you have a question. You could respond in several different ways.
20. 2:27So before you start trying to organize all those thoughts, it's important to decide what do I want to do first?
21. 2:37What matters most right now?
22. 2:40Trying to do all of that makes rambling far more likely.
23. 2:44So instead, decide on the one most important thing.
24. 2:48For example, do I want to add an idea right now?
25. 2:53Do I wanna disagree?
26. 2:54Do I wanna ask a question to clarify or do I wanna go back to something that was said.
27. 2:59Earlier? For example, you may decide that adding a point on to what someone else has said is the most important thing. You wanna support that idea.
28. 3:09So now you know which thought to focus on first.
29. 3:12You need to focus on the point you want to add. And then you could begin with, "One thing I'd like to add is..." Or maybe you decide that your
30. 3:21question is the most important and that becomes your focus.
31. 3:27And then you can begin, "I'd like to ask one question," or, "One question I have is..." Again, this first step isn't about organizing the complete answer.
32. 3:38It's about choosing which of the thoughts in your mind you want to respond with first, what is most important right now in the conversation. Now,
33. 3:48there's another layer to all of this that becomes especially important in English conversations.
34. 3:54The truth is different languages and cultures don't always organize information or ideas in the same way.
35. 4:03So sometimes the challenge isn't simply knowing what you want to do or say, it's also knowing how ideas and opinions are often expected
36. 4:14to be organized in English.
37. 4:16This is something we focus on deeply inside my fluency school program.
38. 4:22In fluency school, you learn a simple structure for organizing your ideas along with the phrases that help to guide your listener through what you want to
39. 4:32say. So when you're asked for your opinion, especially unexpectedly, you have a clearer way to respond and make your message
40. 4:42easy to follow. Whether you're sharing an opinion, explaining something in depth, or telling a story in a conversation,
41. 4:51Fluency School is designed to help you build that skill through guided practice and feedback.
42. 4:57So if that sounds like something you need right now for your English, I'll share a link in the notes below where you can get more details. Okay, so once you know what you want to do in the conversation,
43. 5:09the next step is to choose one idea to start with, just one.
44. 5:15This is where that feeling of chaos can start to become much more manageable. So I want you to imagine someone asks you,
45. 5:23"What did you think of the proposal?" And while you think about it, there are several ideas that come to mind, like maybe the overall idea of the proposal is good,
46. 5:34the timeline seems a bit unrealistic, maybe you've got some questions about the budget as well, and you remember the team tried something very similar a few years ago.
47. 5:45So all of those thoughts, of course, are relevant, but they don't all need to come out at once at the same time in the same moment of the conversation. So the question to ask here is,
48. 5:58"What is the one thing I most want this person to understand first?" Maybe your answer is,
49. 6:05"My biggest concern is the timeline." And now you've got your starting point.
50. 6:11Those other thoughts haven't disappeared, and they're not unimportant.
51. 6:16They simply don't need attention right now.
52. 6:19And this is a very important shift. Instead of thinking, "How do I say everything that's on my mind?" The question becomes,
53. 6:28"What do I want to say first?" And once that idea is clear, the next decision becomes much easier.
54. 6:36What information actually belongs to that idea?
55. 6:41So let's build on this. You've made the decision about what to do.
56. 6:44You're going to talk about your concern. You've got your idea.
57. 6:49You've decided my biggest concern is the timeline.
58. 6:52All your other thoughts are still there.
59. 6:55You remember that similar project that took four months last year.
60. 7:00You have questions about the budget, and you know the team is already working on two other projects right now.
61. 7:05So at this point, the key question is, which of these ideas in my mind or which of these thoughts help me to explain my concern about the timeline?
62. 7:16The fact that a similar project took four months, yes, that helps explain why maybe this six week proposed timeline concerns you.
63. 7:27The fact that the team already has two projects happening right now, that also might belong to supporting your concern.
64. 7:35But your question about the budget, that's a different issue, and this is an important distinction.
65. 7:41A thought that you have can be relevant to the conversation
66. 7:47without belonging to the idea that you need to talk about right now.
67. 7:51It is something that you reserve for later. By making these decisions, you're helping your brain limit the chaos.
68. 8:00You're removing the distractions. So in this case, your response to that question, "What do you think about the proposal?" It might sound like this. "Well,
69. 8:10my biggest concern is the timeline.
70. 8:13We only have six weeks and a similar project took us four months last year.
71. 8:18Plus, the team is already working on two other projects right now.
72. 8:23"Now the listener can clearly understand your concern and why it matters. Again, the budget question can come later.
73. 8:32Following this process, making these decisions is what prevents rambling, and instead it helps you to fully express an idea clearly. Now,
74. 8:42one thing that concerns my students when I teach this process is still feeling like they have to have every thought perfectly organized and ready to say
75. 8:52before they even begin to speak.
76. 8:55And that's not quite true.
77. 8:57Once you know what you want to do in the conversation and you know which idea you want to share, you can start.
78. 9:05And it's okay if the idea is still taking shape in your mind.
79. 9:10It's okay if you don't have every single part of that idea clearly formed. This is where we can use the skill of thinking out loud.
80. 9:20For example, you may say, "I'm still thinking this through, but my biggest concern is the timeline," or, "I haven't decided completely,
81. 9:30but one thing I'm sure about is..." Now, thinking out loud can be uncomfortable for some of us, especially those of us who are more introverted and like to have time to think
82. 9:41and fully process before we speak, but we don't always have that luxury.
83. 9:46So if this is something you struggle with, I recommend watching another lesson I have on how to naturally think out loud in English conversations. If it's something that you need,
84. 9:57I'll leave a link to that lesson in the notes below.
85. 10:00But for this particular lesson, the important thing I want you to remember is this.
86. 10:06Organizing your thoughts doesn't mean planning every sentence before you begin to speak.
87. 10:12You just need enough clarity to know where you're starting and which idea you're working with first.
88. 10:20So now let's put all of this into practice and we're going to use a different example. Imagine a friend of yours asks, "What did you think of the new restaurant last night?" And in that moment,
89. 10:32several thoughts come to your mind. You think, "Well, the food was excellent.
90. 10:36It was more expensive than you expected. The service was a bit slow.
91. 10:41You loved the atmosphere, and you would probably go back, but only for a special occasion." So all of that hits you all at once.
92. 10:51Instead of trying to turn all five thoughts into one answer, start with the decisions we've been working on. First, what do I want to do?
93. 11:01Perhaps in this situation, you want to give your opinion. Next, what is the one idea you want to start with?
94. 11:10Maybe the key idea is that you liked it, but you really think it's more of a special occasion restaurant.
95. 11:17And then now, what belongs to that idea? Well, the food was excellent, which supports why you liked it,
96. 11:26and the higher than expected prices help to explain why you would save this for special occasions. Now, of course, the slow service and the atmosphere, these are still irrelevant,
97. 11:37but they don't necessarily need to come into this answer right now.
98. 11:42They can be part of the conversation later. So in that moment, your initial response might be, "I really liked it, but I think it's more of a special occasion restaurant. I mean, the food.
99. 11:53Was excellent, but it was more expensive than I expected." And that's your clear, well-organized response. So now I want you to practice.
100. 12:02I want you to think of a question in which someone may genuinely ask for your opinion this week. Before you answer,
101. 12:10take a moment to sort through what comes to your mind and then think through those questions. What do I want to do right now? What is most important?
102. 12:20What idea do I want to start with? And what belongs to that idea?
103. 12:25And then begin speaking. Now, if you want, of course you can share your example with me in the comments below. As always, if you found this lesson helpful,
104. 12:35don't forget to subscribe or follow wherever you're watching or listening from today. Thank you so much for joining me, and I look forward to next time.